Hidden Village Ninja Academy
by Faraway4today
Summary: [AU] Naruto had been forced to enroll in the Ninja Academy. He wanted to eat ramen and sleep. Instead he got hounded by weirdoes, ditched by his team and tortured by perverts. Not the best first impression.
1. Where is my bed?

  
  
**Hidden Village Ninja Academy**   
  
By Far Away for Today   
  
Summary: [AU] Naruto had been forced to enroll in the Ninja Academy. He wanted eat ramen and sleep. Instead he got hounded by weirdoes, ditched by his team and tortured by perverts. Not the best first impression.   
  
Disclaimer: "I do not own Naruto, otherwise I'd be rich." - Old Chinese Proverb

* * *

**Chapter 1: Where's my bed?**   
  
A blonde twelve-year-old boy stepped out of the cab and looked at the view before him. Some dirty, rotted stone steps that disappeared into a thick forest were all that greeted him. This was the entrance to the best boarding school in the world, a run down trail. The short boy scratched the whisker marks on his cheeks and cursed his stupid guardian. Pulling his leather duffel bag over his shoulder, he waved the cab off. The fare had been paid when it picked him up from the airport. Not that the blonde believed it was a real cab, it'd been far too clean inside.   
  
He turned away from the strange cab as it drove off. Shifting the weigh of his bag, the blonde started walking toward his new home, the Hidden Village Ninja Academy. However, he wished it wasn't so hidden. The path was made of stone steps up the mountainside through a thick green forest. It was an old trail since most of the stairway had been destroyed by giant tree roots. The trees reached higher and higher the farther he traveled.   
  
The boy followed the trail of broken stones as he hiked over and about the mountain. He got the impression he'd been walking in circles after awhile, but his lamebrain guardian had told him to just follow the path. Of course, he hadn't believed the big moron but the cab driver had mentioned it so it seemed like a good idea. This way was taking quite a long and scenic route though. He liked the smell of the forest compared to the stale polluted atmosphere of the cities. But after spending the last ten hours on an airplane, three of which were spent in delay, all he wanted was to eat real food and sleep in a bed. He hadn't even had a chance to change into his school uniform. Thankfully, his tutor had made him to wear a plain outfit in case this might happen. He'd wanted to wear his comfortable orange track suit for the trip, but he'd been forced into black slacks and a white oxford shirt. It was fairly simple and nice, but it wasn't his taste. The blonde wasn't worried about getting in trouble, but he wanted to make a good impression. He didn't have many friends and he wanted that to change.   
  
It took an hour of climbing the forest-eaten path before he came to a large well-kept lawn. He straightened out his black Chinese cut jacket and dusted off his pants. He checked himself over again and readied the shuriken in his coat before he stepped out into a clearing.   
  
A grand building stood in the center of the wide lawn. The circular building was at least two miles in diameter and six levels high. The boy stood in stunned silence for a moment, only a moment, and then he started walking over the grass lawn to the distant building. The lawn was a healthy green, much like any good golf course, except the holes here were probably a lot more annoying. The blades were kept short and there was no cover over the half-mile that surrounded the building.   
  
The sun was high in the sky and a cool spring breeze moved the air. The boy adjusted the goggles on his forehead and combed his fingers through his short golden spikes. The loud growl of his stomach marked that it was time for lunch. He'd missed opening ceremony the day before and due to the flight delay he'd already missed most of his first day. He didn't mind, he wasn't terrible excited about going to the ninja academy, other than to kick everyone's ass. His worthless guardian had mention there was an amazing ramen restaurant at the boarding school, the deciding factor in his enrollment, and he would kill the freakish dork if he'd lied. The blonde shrugged carelessly; at this point he could inhale rice and fish without complaint.   
  
As he neared the building an old man came into view at the entrance of the building. The man was dressed in regal robes of red and white with a large red headdress. The blonde pegged the man as the head of the school or something important.   
  
"Uzumaki Naruto?" the old man questioned.   
  
The blonde bowed and tried to stifle a yawn. He was never good at manners, no matter how much his tutor had hammered them into his head, literally.   
  
"You must be exhausted from your trip," the old man said, nodding in return and walking into the school. Naruto walked beside the man and notice their height difference was very small. "I'm the Hokage, head of the Hidden Leaf Village. If you had any doubt which village you've been assigned to, I hope my appearance has cleared them."   
  
"I knew I'd be chosen as a Leaf, Hokage-sama," Naruto shrugged, "That pervert would have disowned me if I'd been anything less." But his mellow attitude vanished in a moment, replaced with a cheeky grin. "And I am dead tired but I'm really, really hungry. Hey, hey, do you serve ramen here?" The old man nodded, laughing at the young boy's enjoyment.   
  
"The cafeteria should be opening soon, why don't you have lunch then come to my office? You need to fill out a couple forms still and get your forehead protector," he said. The Hokage handed the boy a scroll and left him standing in the grand foyer. Large arches of carved stone spread over the walls. They held the ceiling, a dome with a world map carved and colored onto it. Windows over the entrance were thin, long slits in the walls filled with multi-colored stain glass. The blonde whistled in admiration.   
  
Naruto looked at the scroll in his hand and his face scrunched as he broke the seal. It was the school primer. He'd already been made to read and memorize it by his tutor. Several times. Without ramen. He shoved it to the bottom of his bag in hopes in would disappear from existence.   
  
His irritation with the scroll taken care of for now, Naruto's thoughts returned to his location. He felt slightly intimidated by it all. It was a big change for him; he'd only ever had his personal tutor. The blonde had never been in a school before and now he was in a boarding school. He cursed his stupid guardian once more and looked around for the elevators. He was glad that his tutor had been smart enough to give him a rough map of the school to memorize.   
  
"Iruka-sensei," he sighed as he headed for the third floor. He entered the cafeteria and stopped. It was huge. Golden light filtered through the windows scattering brilliant white light onto thousands of small round tables. The tables and chairs were simple polished chrome sculptures painfully reflecting the light. Several spiraling staircases connected to individual plateaus that were linked by thin catwalks. A section of the round room was canopied in glass and filled with greenery. In the center of the room was a large waterfall. White stone carried streams of water into a pond of koi and lily pads. Rich foliage shaded it and thick moss covered the rocks.   
  
Surrounding the tables were restaurants. Every possible kind of eatery lined the walls. The blonde walked over to one with a ramen sign hanging over it. The man standing at the counter seemed very jolly as he took Naruto's ordered.   
  
"You just transferred in?" the chef asked. Naruto nodded with a grin. "Well, you should know then that students get free meals from any of the stores here." The man chuckled and handed the boy a bowl.   
  
The blonde knew he'd be getting to be very good friends with this man by the end of his stay. Free ramen, it was like heaven. He inhaled his first bowl while waiting for a second. He continued eating there until a group of students came in from the other side of the cafeteria. When his eleventh and much larger bowl arrived he decided to find somewhere to sit before the crowds came.   
  
"I'll see you again," the boy waved.   
  
"Ah. Just some advice," the chef motioned him to come close and whispered, "Be careful of the upper classmen."   
  
The boy nodded. The chef smiled back and waved him off. Naruto thought about what the man had said. He'd been expecting the school to be tough, it was a ninja academy, and he was looking forward to kicking ass. Of course he'd be careful of the older students. Maybe he looked like an idiot; his guardian often said he did.   
  
Naruto picked a sunny spot on the second level, right next to the waterfall, and sat down to eat. Watching water flow got boring however, quickly. So, with much reluctance, he pulled the primer scroll out and began reading it. To his endless enjoyment, the scroll was in color.   
  
Students started filling in and it hadn't taken more than a minute for his black outfit to get singled out. Everyone else wore the uniform, a navy suit and a green vest. His uniform was packed and in his dorm room, wherever that was. He didn't think his clothes were very far from the uniform, but the fact that he was sitting surrounded by empty tables was probably also a reason. He shrugged, nothing could be done. They'd probably think he was a visitor, since he didn't have a forehead protector. Everyone had a forehead protector here, with their village insignia, somewhere on their person.   
  
Hidden Village Ninja Academy had nine villages, or dormitories. Each village operated separately from the others. Naruto's tutor and guardian had been Hidden Leaf Village Ninjas at the academy, which was why he'd had no doubt about his placement. The villages competed in 'friendly' sports to further their student's abilities. It was all in the primer. The same one he was rereading now. The color diagrams were far more entertaining than the gray he'd memorized. Truly. But he didn't have anything else to be entertained with.   
  
Until a needle broke his ramen bowl and skewered the scroll.   
  
"Ah! What was that?" Naruto jumped back, the shattered porcelain falling to the floor. He turned to see a brunette girl holding more needles in a rather threaten manner. She was wearing a pale blue summer kimono and a Mist forehead protector. He noticed that everyone was watching them. He didn't think this would be a good first impression, but hell if he'd get push around by some girl, especially a Mist ninja.   
  
"That seat is mine, but since you're a foreigner I'll let you leave unharmed," she smiled. The blonde wasn't frightened by her. It was strange that she spoke so very politely. Though her statement was not kind, she sounded very sincere in his good health. Naruto glare back, girls were weird and annoying in his opinion. Women were scary, but girls were nothing. They were weak, not worth his time, so he moved to sit back down.   
  
The blonde hunched forward as the girl threw another needle.   
  
"Hey. Should have listened boy," a teenage boy with a gas mask sneered, only to have a needle spear his bag. Naruto grinned back at the boy's shock and sat himself down properly, pocketing the first needle in his jacket. A waiter came and cleared the mess. The students began whispering soon, once the shock seemed to wear off. Not the best first impression, but it was too late to change things. He had kicked ass though, which was all the mattered.   
  
Naruto was wrenched from his seat and pulled into the girl's flat chest before he could continue enjoying his victory.   
  
"Naruto-kun, it's been too long. I didn't even recognize you," the girl cooed as she ruffled his spikes, "you've grown so much."   
  
He couldn't breathe, but the Mist ninja was being soft and gentle apart from that. He couldn't remember the girl for all the ramen in the world or the pain and embarrassment she was inflicting on him. People were still staring and he knew people were laughing. The blonde didn't like being someone else's entertainment. He tried to pull away, but the older girl had one firm grip.   
  
"Haku," a bandage-faced adult appeared behind the brunette. He wore a Mist forehead protector over messy chocolate locks. The topless man carried a gigantic sword on his back. He eyed the display with a wary look.   
  
"Zabuza-san, look it's Naruto-kun," Haku pulled the shocked boy back to let the older man see.   
  
Naruto stared at the person before him. His eyes bulged out. The Haku he knew was a boy. He was a very kind boy, but definitely male. Not a girl. His mind worked to try and restart itself. It was taking its time.   
  
"Ah. Iruka mentioned you'd be enrolling this year," Zabuza stated. Haku smiled and sprinted off, or skipped, it was difficult to discern with the yukata, leaving the younger boy gawking at empty space.   
  
The blonde seemed stationary, so Zabuza pushed the stunned body into a seat and took the one across from him. The head finally turned to face the man but the mouth was still only making fish movements.   
  
"Don't ask, I don't know what happened to him," the Mist ninja stated blandly. He watched the blonde nod dumbly and scoffed. The boy was not quick on the uptake, so he waited.   
  
"Ah! Haku-nii-san looks like a girl!" Naruto exclaimed which caused several people to glare at him. Not that he noticed, since his first friend was now a transvestite.   
  
"Oh, don't you like how I look Naruto-kun?" Haku pouted from behind. He'd returned with a new bowl of ramen for the blonde and a large O-bento-box, which held lunch for the two Mist ninjas.   
  
"Well… but… you…" Naruto paused for a long moment, not knowing what to say. The brunette was his friend, even if he was acting really weird. He couldn't hurt his friend's feelings. The boy thought about what Iruka would do if he was here, but smacking himself didn't seem to solve anything. Finally, after a minute, he decided to state the only positive thing he could come up with.   
  
"You are the prettiest guy I've ever seen," he said and sweated as Haku hugged him again.   
  
"You don't have a forehead protector. Have they not placed you?" Zabuza asked, trying to help the poor kid. Not that he was a nice person or cared about the kid, but Naruto was always full of surprises. He was definitely the loudest ninja so, if anything, things would be less boring now. That was if the boy survived his first day.   
  
"I only arrived an hour ago. I'm supposed to finish eating and then go see the Hokage though," Naruto answered grinning.   
  
"That makes you a Leaf ninja," Haku pouted and the blonde shrugged helplessly, "We wouldn't have had any classes together even if you were a Mist ninja, but at least I could have visited your dorm room." The blonde paled at what the strange older boy might have done to him, like turning him into dress up doll.   
  
"They restrict the dormitories?" Naruto asked hopefully.   
  
"Not officially, but all the villages segregate themselves," Haku explained between his sushi, "The few students that have friends outside their village are normally the top students."   
  
"Haku is the best from his year. He can keep whatever company he likes and wear whatever he wishes," Zabuza said as he managed to keep his face covered while eating. It was something both younger boys had never been able to master.   
  
"Ah, I was wondering about that," Naruto said, looking at the powder blue yukata. It was heavily embroidered on the cuffs with silver thread and the obi was white. It was girly.   
  
"Be careful of the Leaf's Uchiha and Hyuuga clan, they'll give you trouble," the older Mist ninja warned.   
  
"I'm strong. I'll be the top of the class. Hah, I'll kick everyone's ass," the boy boasted, "Don't worry about it. Hah."   
  
"Do I look worried?" Zabuza stated blandly. He didn't look worried. It was confusing. It wasn't like the Mist ninja to care about anyone, except Haku.   
  
"Hey, hey, why are they going to give me trouble?" he asked warily.   
  
"Because they think they're the best." The older man grinned and Naruto smirked between his ramen. Haku simply shook his head at the blonde enthusiasm and ate his sushi. It was the younger boy's talent to create trouble and havoc wherever he went, something he inherited from his unruly guardian.   
  
The rest of the meal was filled with Naruto describing all the places his guardian had dragged him to since they'd last met. When he finished his ramen, he waved goodbye to his friends. Haku gave him another hug.   
  
"Naruto, dinner is served at six o'clock. I'll have your ramen and everything here for you," Haku whispered, giving him another squeeze. The younger boy reasoned that at least he wasn't alone here. He had his first friend with him here. Haku was the best ninja of the fourth year, so he could do as he pleased, which meant eating and training with the little blonde Leaf ninja. The older boy was strong and nice, even if he acted weird.   
  
He made his way out of the cafeteria feeling everyone's attention on him. The blonde was still an enigma with no mark of alliance except Haku and Zabuza, who were of the Hidden Mist. He really needed to get that forehead protector soon.   
  
Finding the Hokage's office was not easy. It was on the sixth level, but this was a huge building, so he spent an hour getting lost. The building wasn't made for things to be found, it was a ninja academy. He accepted the fact that he couldn't find it, so why didn't that old man leave him directions then? The old man must have been losing his brains to old age. Naruto stopped and looked around. He was in a study hall and, if the stares weren't his hallucination, he was distracting people. He noticed some students with Leaf headbands.   
  
Naruto literally smack himself and grinned like at idiot, because that's what he was. The old man wanted him to get lost and ask a Leaf for directions. If the old man was anything like Iruka, he planned everything to be a test on his abilities. It was humiliating that it took at hour for him to get it.   
  
He ruffled his sunny spikes and walked up to the nearest Leaf ninja. It was a dark haired boy with lines on his face, not unlike the blonde's whiskers. The teen wore a black coat over his uniform with red clouds of it. He sat reading a book, not looking up at the blonde when he approached. Naruto waited. The last time he bothered ninja when they were reading, he'd woke the next day in pain. It was not an experience he planned on doing again. That didn't mean he couldn't fidget.   
  
"What do you want?" the teen said not looking up from his book. It took five minutes of waiting and fidgeting to get that.   
  
"Do you know where the Hokage's office is?" Naruto put his biggest smile as he asked.   
  
"Yes," he replied curtly.   
  
"Can you tell me how to get there?" the blonde was having doubts on his choice. Maybe he should have picked a less brooding and sullen looking one.   
  
"No."   
  
"What? Why the hell not?" the blonde yelled. That got everyone's attention and they all looked like sixth years. The boy swallowed the lump in his throat as the older teen rose up and sized the boy up like a meal. His eyes were red.   
  
"You're not a Leaf Ninja." The blonde sigh as the older boy turned. Then he remembered that he was a Leaf ninja and he planned to tell the blood eyed teen just that.   
  
"Naruto-kun," the old man appeared in a puff of smoke, "Itachi-kun, thank you for finding him. Did you get lost?"   
  
"Stop acting innocent old man you planned this," the blonde fumed as the Hokage chuckled, "At least you could have left me with my forehead protector."   
  
"Where's the excitement in that?" the man asked and place a pipe in his mouth.   
  
"Excitement…" Naruto twitched. That was the last straw for the boy. He slapped his hands together, "Why you!? Sexy no Jutsu!" Through clouds of smoke a robust and naked blonde woman stood in place of the boy. Her hair was a fountain of golden tresses, her skin a tan silk, and deep pools of ocean blue for eyes lay beneath long blonde lashes. The old man gasped in shock and flew back in shock, blood shooting from his nose. Itachi raised an eyebrow at the Hokage's convulsing body.   
  
"Stupid," Itachi stated blandly staring at the boy's transformation, then his eyes wandered around the room, "but it is…"   
  
Naruto returned to himself grinning like an idiot and observed the damage. He'd taken out the Hokage, several students and some staff members; they lay in bloodied messes or clutching bloody noses. Everyone else sat in shocked silence.   
  
More importantly, the jerk had complimented him. Almost. Whoever the teen was, he was strong, so any respect from him was a plus. He'd proven himself stronger, even though had only made the older teen's pale cheeks flush very little.   
  
He laughed. It always worked.   
  
The Hokage recovered quickly, for an old pervert, and pulled Naruto to his office. Naruto didn't mind. He figured it probably wasn't a wise idea to wait for the others to recover or stay around with the glares the girls were giving him. The man's office lay beyond a maze of doors and hallways. It was too confusing to memorize, everything just burring into a dull taupe.   
  
The office door was a boring white with an ordinary brass knob. However, inside, the office was completely extraordinary. It was a large room that could easily hold forty people, with an open balcony facing into the center of the school. The walls were lined with old silk paintings and glittering weaponry. A two-foot long fan with a picture of a golden forest painted on it hung behind a desk. The desk was made of cypress, with flaming beasts carved into it. Mountains of paper and file cabinets filled the space on and around the writing table.   
  
The old man rubbed his chin, letting his long pipe wobble in his mouth while he shuffled through some of the papers. He pulled up a stack and handed it to the boy.   
  
"Iruka filled out most of the information. This is what's left," and motioned to the inch thick stack. Naruto collapsed into a chair and looked hopelessly at the sizable stack. This would take awhile, so he kissed his bed goodbye. Reluctantly he began filling in everything he could. Thankfully it was mostly signing his name. The old man sat and worked through his own stack, eyeing the boy occasionally.   
  
"You're not as hyper as I was warned," the Hokage asked smirking. The boy scoffed, his face scrunching up in annoyance. This was the old man's revenge for the prank.   
  
"Sleep," Naruto grumbled, signing the last page.   
  
"Well, you still haven't met with your team," the Hokage smiled, "You'll meet them in room 130." Naruto scrunched his face again and stomped out of the office vowing to show the old pervert a thing or two. He trudged down the corridor hell bent and collided with an immovable object.   
  
When Naruto woke up he was in an empty classroom. He couldn't remember how he'd ended gotten there. Rubbing his head he felt cool metal, his goggles were glass. The boy gasped and then grinned till his whiskers disappeared. He was wearing a Leaf forehead protector. He continued grinning and adjusted the headband with pride. He checked the rest of himself over and found everything in place with his duffle bag beside him. A white note lay on it.   
  
**_Walk more carefully. _**  
  
The blonde scratched his whiskers. It was totally embarrassing to have been found that way. However, he hadn't gotten his forehead protector yet, so he technically wasn't a ninja at the time. That's right, nobody could have known who or what he was then. As of now he was a whole new person. This was the official beginning of his career as a ninja. He was going to be the best and everyone would respect him for his greatness.   
  
Naruto laughed into the empty room.   
  
"Huh?" a pink-haired girl stood at the door in mild confusion. It wasn't thought of as normally to laugh hysterically by yourself, "Are you here for team assignments?"   
  
"Well, that's what the Hokage told me," Naruto grinned. She seemed nice. Her blue suit jacket and short skirt looked perfectly neat with the green vest peeking beneath. Her hair fell to her thin waist and big green eyes looked at his with interest. Her forehead was a little big, but it was probably because she was really smart, or something. She'd make a great friend, even if she looked weak.   
  
"Oh," was her only reply before another boy coughed behind her. She immediately moved aside to give to boy room to enter.   
  
He was pale with black eyes and hair, Naruto noticed as he came in and took a seat. The blonde waved but was ignored. He couldn't get away from the feeling that he'd seen the boy before. There was something familiar about the cold stare.   
  
"Sasuke-kun, you're on my team! Ah!" the pink girl, who'd been meek and quiet a moment before, started swooning over the dark brooding boy. "My name is Haruno Sakura. It's a pleasure to meet you."   
  
"Hey, hey, I'm-" but he was cut off by Sakura. She began talking to Sasuke, who looked like he was purposely ignoring her. She eventually quieted down from the lack of response her ranting produced and sat quietly next to her idol. The blonde felt very alone on the other side of the class room but he wouldn't move for some banshee and an icy prick. The blonde did have his dignity.   
  
They waited three hours, which Naruto spent snoozing. He dreamt of ramen and hurting his guardian. At least he was sleeping until Sakura started complaining.   
  
"Uh, what could be taking our team leader so long?" she huffed. It wasn't her voice, but the screech of a chair sliding back that caught his attention fully. A second screech followed quickly after, along with the shuffle of feet toward the door.   
  
"What about him?" Sakura asked, "Isn't he part of the team?"   
  
"If we miss dinner we don't eat," Sasuke stated in a cold tone. The door opened and the footsteps left the room.   
  
They'd left. Naruto fist slammed down. He tried to keep from crying. They'd left him behind, his own teammates. It wasn't fair; his own team was already alienating him. He thought the Leaf insignia would have helped him fit in but it hadn't. His stomach growled and his stood up. It was already seven, Haku might still be waiting. Yet he was supposed to wait for his team leader, an instructor that would mentor the team. He rubbed his face and grabbed his things. The bastard was already three hours late, why should he give the man anymore chances. The boy growled at his fathead guardian for sending him to the academy and walked to the door. He switch off the lights and grabbed the door handle, he started opening it.   
  
And he stopped.   
  
"Iruka-sensei…" he sighed under his breathe. At the sudden thought of his tutor he closed the door. Growling he threw his bag on the floor and flopped beside it.   
  
"Everything is a test to make you stronger," Naruto stated into the dark empty room, throwing his fist into the air.   
  
"Good words." The boy shot up as the lights turned on. Standing lazily by the switch was a masked Leaf ninja. He had one eye hidden and crazy white hair held back by his forehead protector. The two regarded each other. The blonde reasoned the instructor was probably Zabuza's age and skill - 26 and high. Naruto was only that kind in his assessment because Iruka-sensei said the simpler and dumber they look, the more they're hiding. He looked dumber than a rock.   
  
Naruto's stomach growled. He grinned sheepishly up at his new mentor. The older ninja laughed and opened the door, turning off the lights.   
  
"Let's eat." The blonde jumped up and ran after his team leader with his bag. They walked side-by-side down the hall. "I should punish you for not having your uniform on. There's no excuse for a first year to be out of uniform," the older man said. Punishment, Naruto grumbled but he was too hungry and tired to argue.   
  
"I'm Hatake Kakashi, you?"   
  
"Uzumaki Naruto and the Hokage didn't say anything to me about needing to change," the blonde replied because he wasn't one to go down without a fight.   
  
"That's not an excuse," answered the man in a flat tone.   
  
"I didn't say it was an excuse," the boy shot back.   
  
"Are you being insubordinate then?" the single visible eyebrow rose with the man focusing his single eye on the boy.   
  
"I'm not your subordinate till I pass your test," Naruto pouted, huffing and puffing. This guy was terrible. He'd be better off with Iruka, even if he'd be alone. Everyone here was heartless or disturbed. When they got to the cafeteria, it was still filled with crowds. Naruto dived into a mob to get away from the older ninja. He made his way to the ramen shop which was about to close.   
  
"Ah?" Naruto gaped.   
  
"Oh, Blondie. I see you got your headband. Hah, want a bowl?" the shop owner chuckled as the young boy bounced. It took only a moment to cook one large bowl and Naruto grabbed his food before anyone else got it. He quickly walked toward Haku's table. On the way he noticed his two teammates stare at him from their table of friends. Sasuke noticed him and glared, but Sakura was still on cloud nine swooning with some platinum blonde girl over the dark brooding boy.   
  
A hand landed on his head.   
  
"Ah, Naruto-kun shouldn't you be sitting with your friends." Naruto looked up and found Kakashi staring down at him. The boy realized that the older man was rather scary, but not as scary as that old maid who was friends with his stupid over fed, perverted and moronic guardian. With his luck, this guy would be as big a pervert as that old hermit.   
  
"I am going to sit with my friends," he said trying to shake the hand off. It didn't fall off. He growled at the older ninja. "Did you want something," he asked, "Kakashi-sensei?" The older man suddenly smiled, well wrinkled his visible eye, at the boy.   
  
"Why I'd love to eat dinner with you," he stated ruffling the boy hair.   
  
Naruto pulled from his teacher and climbed the stairs wearily up the table. The other man strolled behind him. When he reached the platform he found Haku waiting with a thermos.   
  
"What happened? You over slept?" the brunette pouted, then noticed the other man and smiled.   
  
"Haku, this is Kakashi-sensei. Kakashi-sensei, this is Haku," the blonde introduced and fell into a chair, "And no. I haven't even seen my room yet. I filled out papers in the Hokage's this afternoon and then met with my team, kind of. " The young boy slumped, "They ditched me for dinner."   
  
The brunette clamped down on Naruto shoulders, startling the boy, and pulled him into a hug.   
  
"Oh, you poor thing," the Mist ninja cooed. Naruto greened while his new teacher raised his brow again. This was going to become a habit.   
  
"Haku, you shouldn't hug everyone so much," Zabuza said, appearing from behind. The blonde noted that it effectively made the teen release him and then realized the two adult ninja were glaring at each other. At least, Zabuza was glaring but his mentor look rather indifferent.   
  
"Naruto-kun, who is on your team?" Haku asked, breaking the staring contest.   
  
"Haruno Sakura and some jerk named Sasuke," Naruto huffed and stuffed his face with food.   
  
"Damn." Zabuza cursed. "He's from the Uchiha clan. The other is his older brother, Itachi."   
  
"Oh, does he have red eyes," the boy shouted. Haku nodded while the older Mist ninja glared again at Kakashi. "I met him earlier. I knew that Sasuke guy looked familiar."   
  
"Don't mention that," Haku sweated, "they hate each other."   
  
"What's wrong with the Uchiha clan Naruto-kun?" Kakashi asked listlessly. The boy shrugged, he really didn't understand. But if Zabuza said he should be careful, then it was worth thinking about. There wasn't any reason for people to get jealous of him. He didn't have many friends or a cool girlfriend. Everyone thought he was an idiot.   
  
"They're arrogant," Zabuza stated. He pulled out a box and chopsticks. The blonde was slow, but not dumb. Those two didn't like each other so he'd have to keep them apart from now on.   
  
"Ah, I'm finished," Kakashi stated, and amazingly he was. He hadn't even seen the man removed his mask. This guy was creepy, like a stalker. Before he could ask how, the man disappeared in a puff of smoke. The group was silence for a moment.   
  
"I have a weirdo for an instructor, don't I?" the blonde turn to the older ninja who continued eating. He sighed; it wasn't going to be fun here.   
  
"Naruto-kun?" a bland voice asked from behind.   
  
"Eh?" Naruto turned and found those red eyes staring at him for the second time that day, "Itachi-san?"   
  
"Interesting…" Itachi grabbed him and hauled him up, "Come."   
  
"Careful brat," Zabuza stood.   
  
"This is Leaf business." The teen didn't even look back, just continued pulling the boy along.   
  
"I didn't finish my dinner!" He yowled and Haku handed off the thermos to Naruto as Itachi dragged him away. He didn't know what he'd done the deserve this; it'd only been a little prank.   
  
"I can walk on my own," Naruto growled, pulling at the older boy grip. It didn't let up as he was carted across the cafeteria. He looked over to his teammates and saw Sasuke glaring at him, or maybe it was his brother, but he wasn't going to get any help from them. Everyone else in the room seemed fine with allowing Itachi to man-handle the boy. When they reached the hallway the older boy stopped, making Naruto fall over himself.   
  
"There you are Naruto-kun," the Hokage said, smiling at Itachi. "It's so good of you to find him again for me." The teen released him and stalked off. "Oh, I was wondering how you liked your team. Did all your things arrive?"   
  
The old man smiled and he was about to give the wrinkled beast a mouth full when a hand landed on his head.   
  
"Kakashi-sensei," he growled and turned, "what is it?"   
  
"I have your room assignment of course. Come along now, you need a good sleep to start fresh tomorrow." The older ninja winked and waved the Hokage goodbye, taking the boy by the head and leading him to his dormitory.   
  
Naruto followed Kakashi onto a bridge, entering a large area enclosed by the circling building. Below was a forest and at the end of the bridge was a red building. The building was a round pagoda with six levels which only reach a little over half the height of the massive adjoining structure. It was the Hidden Leaf Village Dormitory. There were eight other similar pagodas, all surrounding a giant arena.   
  
Naruto was led onto the sixth level of the pagoda and noticed Itachi staring at him as they headed to a central stairwell. Five flights later they reached the first floor. Several students were lounging in the commons room. It was bigger than the area on the sixth floor, but that probably meant the rooms were smaller. All conversation stopped when he entered. His instructor pushed him toward a hallway.   
  
Once again, everything was taupe and white. The doors held numbers and names. Occasional pictures or notes were on some doors. The hall didn't wind or maze around though, it curved with the building, which he was grateful for. He didn't want to constantly get lost trying to find his room.   
  
After several doors, Naruto was pulled to a stop.   
  
**_Room 114 : Uzumaki Naruto_**   
  
"Here's your room," Kakashi stated, fishing around his pockets for keys. The other first years had followed to see who the new student was. He smiled back at them. They didn't return the pleasantry. They were trying to look menacing, but that seemed rather pathetic really. The man pulled out the key and opened the door for the boy, handing the piece of metal to him. Naruto looked inside and found all his spiral marked boxes.   
  
"Who's my roommate?"   
  
"You don't have one, lucky brat," Kakashi shrugged.   
  
"There's an uneven amount of girls," a white-eyed girl stated smiling at the blonde, "I have my own room as well." He turned to get a good look at her. She didn't look like much of a ninja, but it could be an act. Of course, she was a girl. Naruto nodded, sighing at his fortune. Now he'd have absolutely no social interaction, except maybe Haku. That made the blonde shudder. He waved his mentor off, literally closing the door in his face, and sank to the floor. His room was big enough, with a bathroom and double closet. It had taupe walls and red carpeting. The window was filled with pink cherry tree blossoms and green gingko tree branches.   
  
The blonde rummaged through his bag and pulled out two sheets of paper. The rectangular slips had writing on them. They were seals. Iruka had made that pervert guardian of his make two and packed them. His tutor didn't trust the other students to keep their noses where they belonged. The young ninja shrugged, it didn't hurt to be cautious as much as it did to argue with Iruka.   
  
He placed a seal on his door and window. His bite his finger and put his blood on the seals. Then he carefully formed a series of symbols with his hands. The door and window glowed and then the seals disappeared.   
  
If he'd done in correctly, he'd be the only one who could get into this room. If he'd messed up, theoretically he could be trapped here for the rest of his life. At the moment, never stepping outside his door again sounded heavenly.   
  
Naruto rolled out a futon and flopped down. He finally got to sleep.


	2. Survival

  
  
**Hidden Village Ninja Academy**  
  
By Far Away for Today  
  
Summary: [AU] Naruto had been forced to enroll in the Ninja Academy. He wanted eat ramen and sleep. Instead he got hounded by weirdoes, ditched by his team and tortured by perverts. Not the best first impression.  
  
Disclaimer: "I do not own Naruto, otherwise I'd be rich." - Old Chinese Proverb

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you for all the helpful comments. I believe there are some things I need to clarify.  
  
First of all, all British style boarding schools operate on the "house system", as do many of their colleges. This isn't a British setting, but I know how this system of schooling works so I'm using it. The 'house' system is to promote competition between students because the boarding schools generally isolate themselves. American schools have equivalent systems between other schools in their area. Harry Potter is similar because it functions on a British-schooling system as well. I didn't really notice the similarity until it was mentioned, thank you Chief316 and Bubblytokki.  
  
Secondly, Iruka is not Naruto's guardian. Iruka was his tutor though. I suppose I didn't make a very good distinction between the two since it's confused so many of you. Iruka is not going to be perverted or a lamebrain. I made an extra effort to make the distinction clear in this chapter.  
  
Now I would like to thank my editor, Nick. He is reason this story is posted and the reason it is readable. He does all corrections and he also critiques the story. Basically, he makes sure I don't sound stupid, which tells you just how vital he is to my writing. His username is Cyrik Skylark, if you want to send him your appreciation as well.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Survival**  
  
A loud siren echoed through the small taupe room. A rumpled blonde head poked out of orange sheets in response to the disturbance. Slowly a pair of deep blue eyes opened and found a bored looking room filled with cheerful sunlight. The sapphire eyes blurred in confusion. Where was he? Oh yes, the boarding school from hell. Naruto pulled himself up and looked around grumpily, yawning and stretching out the kinks from his sleep. The boy was still clad in his traveling clothes from the day before. His once clean and crisp outfit was now wrinkled and sweaty. He was too tired to care that it was dry clean only.  
  
He needed more sleep. Still, there was some mysterious loud siren going off, preventing him from going back to sleep. The boy began searching for the noisemaker planning to destroy it. The problem was that he couldn't find it. The horn wasn't coming from inside his room. Grimacing, he stood up and trudged over to his door. When he opened it, he came face to face with a weirdo in black.  
  
Outside room 114 stood a freak wearing black sunglasses and a bandana style forehead protector. The man leered at Naruto, holding the blaring foghorn. The blonde glared squinty eyed and flat-mouthed back up at the man. His first impression was that the academy was pretty dumb to let some manic loose in the dormitory with a foghorn.  
  
"Wake up idiot. You missed my class yesterday you lazy little brat," the man sneered, letting the horn fall to silence. "Don't think I'll let you skip again. Now get to class in fifteen minutes, or I'll come back for you." With that the sleazy creep sauntered off.  
  
Naruto watched him leave. He'd had his doubts before, but now he was absolutely positive that the man was a psychopath and he was probably out to eat innocent little children. The blonde shook his head; today was going to be bad.  
  
"It took you three minutes to get up loser," an angry voice remarked with a growl behind in. Standing in the hall two doors down was a disheveled brunette in yellow pajamas with a scruffy dog on his head. Naruto didn't notice any of these things - what he did notice were the red triangles running down the boy's face. They reminded Naruto of a really big pervert, the one that had sent him to this putrid and perverse level of hell. "Thanks for the wake up call idiot." The simple statement snapped the dazed boy into reality, and he promptly slammed his door shut.  
  
He had to be ready for when that weirdo came back. Setting his mind to the task, the first thing he did was to find his uniform. It took a minute to find the box labeled 'Clothing' in his tutor's ever-perfect handwriting. Iruka had neatly packed everything for his young student. He unsealed and opened the box, quickly pulling out his uniform. After a bit of searching he found his bathroom stuff. With the necessary items acquired, he slid the bathroom door open. He looked inside his bathroom; inside was a shower, toilet and sink with a mirror. The sterile sink and toilet were a soft beige, paler than his skin. A third of the bathroom served as the shower, tiled in the same soft beige, with a curtain separating it from the rest of the room. It was maybe two by six feet with a locking sliding door. It was nowhere near as good as home, but it was better than the communal facilities he thought he'd be stuck with - something his perverted guardian had made the boy learn to loathe and despise.  
  
After stocking the little bathroom with his things, his began getting ready. Iruka had forced him to get cleaned and ready in less that ten minutes, which was roughly the amount of time he had left. He'd cleaned up and dressed, but still hadn't unpacked his school bag.  
  
He opened the door and got a sounding horn in his face.  
  
"What the hell in your problem?!" the boy yelled. Glaring at the insulted and angry older man, Naruto blew him a raspberry. Not waiting for an answer the blonde shut his door again.  
  
"Hah! You think a door can stop an elite jounin?" the creep laughed after a moment of stunned silence. The boy figured there was no time like the present to test if he'd placed the seal on correctly. The frustrated growl that followed the jounin's attempts to open the door proved that the seal had been placed correctly. The blonde grinned.  
  
He listened to his teacher make loud noises while unpacking some of his school things. He decided that for a torturous level of hell, it was remarkably entertaining around here. When he opened his door, he found his red-in-the-face ninja instructor standing with Kakashi. The white haired ninja looked as bored as he had the day before.  
  
"How did you lock us out?" Kakashi asked, his silver eyebrow rising as though he was actually interested. The blonde knew however, that Iruka never would be angry if the seal was revealed to the public.  
  
"A ninja never reveals his secrets," Naruto grinned.  
  
"A genin shouldn't be playing with such high level techniques," the black-clad freak hollered. The boy shrugged. He shouldered his school bag and slipped his key into his pocket. Even though he didn't need to lock his room, he locked it anyway.  
  
He closed his door, walking past his fuming teacher and pondering mentor. The boy smiled at the faces he met. He noticed Sakura glaring at him and offered a wave, but she looked ready to kill. Most of the people he passed did not smile back. Whether they were annoyed by the early hour or the early morning wake up call was a mystery. However, their foul mood didn't dampen his victory over his teacher. It wasn't as though he'd asked the man to wake him up this morning. What gave that leering creep the right to interrupt his peaceful slumber?  
  
As he reached the dormitory exit, a familiar hand landed on his head. He looked up at a single black eye.  
  
"Good morning Kakashi-sensei," the boy greeted cheerfully. The man nodded.  
  
"That's a strong seal you have on your room," Kakashi stated and pushed the boy out the door.  
  
The sunlight hadn't yet reached over the edge of the surrounding building, covering everything in a hazy gray light. A line of fog still clung to the ground level. Pink and green foliage lined the path from the Leaf dormitory to the academy building. While the walls of the massive building facing out were plain and flat, the inner walls were not. Giant attacking beasts were held back by the stone while other monsters stood embossed in the gray walls. Balconies and black sheets of glass took up the empty space between the frozen creatures. At the ground a carved stone archway with a thick wooden door stood as the entrance into the building.  
  
"Not even noon and you're in trouble," the man sighed in a bored manner, "You really shouldn't draw so much attention to yourself."  
  
"Yes, because I'm trying to and all," the boy howled, earning a sound knock on his head. He howled in pain and shot the man a soured face. He tried again to remove the hand on his head to no avail. "Hey, hey, who was that annoying psychopath anyway?"  
  
"Psychopath?" the jounin parroted, blinking several times to comprehend and then he snickered, "That psychopath is your homeroom teacher this year, Ebisu."  
  
"Shit," he groaned and squawked when he received another knock on the head, "Stop already, I get it." The man scoffed, steering him through the halls and pushing the young boy into a room labeled '1-A'.  
  
The room was the right size for about two dozen kids. At the moment, though, the room was empty. High window let in the gray light from the courtyard. The desks were long mahogany tables, large enough to seat three students each. The tables ascended four tiers back in pairs. A black chalkboard stood behind a podium at the front. The black-clad maniac stood by the pedestal.  
  
"You will arrive ten minutes early to class until you remove the seal from your room," Ebisu stated and stood over the boy, trying to intimidate him. It didn't work. The stiff and straight posture with his hands folded behind his back made the elite jounin looked very prim. Having had Iruka as a tutor, Naruto had experienced true intimidation.  
  
"What?!" the hyper boy yelled and got a sound knock on the head. There was certainly a bump forming at this point. Naruto wondered whose side Kakashi was on. "Yes Ebisu-sensei," he begrudgingly replied.  
  
"Good, you can go remove the seal after classes," Ebisu stated smugly, turning away from the boy.  
  
"Hey, hey, you said if I come early I don't have to take it off," Naruto said, he whiskers knotting up in confusion. The sunglasses did little to hide the unabashed hatred that poured from the teacher's glare.  
  
"What?! Kakashi-sensei, get your subordinate under control!" Ebisu thundered.  
  
"There's no rule stating he is not allowed to have the seal," the white-haired jounin shrugged, "therefore he can't be punished for it."  
  
"Very well," the fuming teacher replied. The blonde smiled and picked a seat at the middle back table. His mentor threw a wave over his shoulder as he strolled out of the room. Naruto hadn't thought much of his team leader before, but now he definitely respected the man a little.  
  
Ebisu stood at the front ignoring the blonde until students began to file in. Even though Naruto was exhausted from traveling still, his stomach tingled with excitement. This would be his first day of school, real school. The room slowly filled with disgruntled murmuring and cheerful squeals. The blonde received a large share of death glares from those who weren't happy with the wake up call they'd gotten this morning. It was bad enough that he was getting terrified by old friends, that his teammates had ditched him yesterday and that some freakish sixth year was out to get him, now his classmates hated him. He refused to let his fear show though. He grinned as happily as if he had a fountain of ramen.  
  
A rough hand grabbed the back of Naruto's uniform hauling him up and out of his seat. The boy looked to see his leering teacher carrying by the scruff of his neck. Before he could mouth a complaint he was thrown into a seat at the front. He glared at the satisfied looking teacher who'd attacked him.  
  
Naruto looked down his table to see Sasuke and Sakura sitting with him. The long dark haired boy stared numbly out the window. Sakura was chatting happily with the platinum blonde one row behind. The hyper boy grinned and they ignored him.  
  
Nobody gave him any love here.  
  
"Good morning class 1-A," Ebisu said from behind his podium. Not waiting for a reply the man continued, "Today I am giving a pop quiz on the school primer we cover yesterday. Those who fail to answer correctly will stand at the front of the class. Points will be docked from their teams." The class groaned, but Naruto bubbled with excitement. Iruka must have known that he'd be tested on the school primer his first day. He didn't know what these points were for, but having them sounded important.  
  
"First, we will begin with our new student, Uzumaki Naruto," Ebisu said condescendingly. The man sauntered over with his leering gaze. Naruto could only wonder how they'd let such a wacko teach, but then again his good-for-nothing guardian was allowed to be a ninja.  
  
"Naruto-kun," Ebisu said, snapping Naruto back to reality, "what is the third rule of the school primer?" Ebisu grinned. The boy scrunched his face and growled in thought.  
  
"Which section?" he asked after a moment.  
  
"Just answer the question," the teacher howled, sending most students into shock. The man quickly recovered his cool and smiled down, waiting for the answer.  
  
"The third rule of the school primer itself is not to allow the primer to be taken by anyone," Naruto grinned.  
  
"Wrong," Ebisu snapped.  
  
"What?!" the blonde shouted, "It is not wrong!"  
  
"Shut up and go to the front of the class you idiot!" Ebisu shouted back. The boy stomped up to the front and stood there angrily. Sasuke huffed and Sakura just let her head fall into her arms with a groan. Naruto fumed at the front. He'd been marked for failure before he'd even been tested.  
  
The teacher filed through the class questioning everyone. The blonde felt his head getting heavy as the questioning continued. Slowly, his exhaustion was catching up to him. The blonde barely noticed that two other boys had joined him. One was the red triangle faced boy with his dog on his head. The other boy was a fat kid, huge by ninja standards, still chomping on chips. Naruto stood half-awake at the front.  
  
"Um, Ebisu-sensei," said the white-eyed girl from yesterday, catching the teacher's attention. The blonde wrenched his eyes open and tried to focus. He didn't need anymore trouble.  
  
"Yes, Hinata-san," the man asked sweetly, "Did you have a question?" The blonde scrunched his face in disgust at the sexist bastard. Even though he absolutely did not want him yelling at the meek girl, he was annoyed the man didn't treat everyone equally.  
  
"The third rule of the school primer states that we are not allowed to let the primer be taken from our possession."  
  
"Yes," the man stared at her with interest, still waiting for her question as she pointed to it on the scroll, "Is that all Hinata-san?" The girl looked confused and helpless. She bowed her head, sorrowfully resigning from the argument, as the scroll slowly disappeared into her bag.  
  
Sakura stood. The pink-haired girl looked very determined. She waited for the teacher to acknowledge her, which he didn't. She still waited.  
  
"Now you three who failed have lost your teams twenty-five-"  
  
"Ebisu-sensei," Sakura interrupted, "Naruto-kun answered the question correctly."  
  
"Did he?" said the teacher. Sakura looked shocked at the man's dishonesty.  
  
"You said it yourself sir," she stated, her jaw tightening.  
  
"Perhaps we'll test if the little troublemaker does know the whole primer then?" he said. The girl paled and Naruto sighed. He was in trouble no matter what he said.  
  
"Naruto-kun, what is the fiftieth rule of the fourteenth section?" Ebisu smiled and the blonde grinned back.  
  
"There is no fiftieth rule in the fourteenth section because of a typographical error," the boy stated like a dictionary.  
  
There was a groan and a shuffle of paper.  
  
"Shit," the platinum blonde girl exclaimed, "It's correct." The class stared at the blonde and the teacher. The elite jounin shook with angry, a crease forming at his brow. The ninjas watched in silence as the insane man slowly boiled into a raging inferno.  
  
"You three pick up those buckets and fill them with water. Be standing outside this door in fifteen minutes!" Ebisu shrieked. Naruto fumed. The tension rose, but the blonde knew that if he got really angry things would get ugly. So he huffed and grabbed a bucket. Sakura collapsed in relief. The other two boys bitterly grabbed pales as well and followed behind the blonde.  
  
They walked in single file with Naruto in the front. The dog-boy grumbled during the entire walk to the sinks. The four faucets poked out of the stone along the wall. The fat boy drank a hefty swig before he joined in filing his bucket. The blonde found this all very boring and he yawned. He waited for the other two before lugging his pail back to the classroom.  
  
When the three boys returned, a certain white-haired jounin was waiting in the classroom. Kakashi's lazy eye was boring over Sakura and Sasuke. The boy ignored him and Sakura shrank under his eye. The shaded sexist lunatic teacher was checking the contents of the scroll as the masked ninja waited.  
  
"Naruto-kun, come with me," Kakashi stated.  
  
"Why does he get to leave?" the dog-boy whined.  
  
"He doesn't," Ebisu stated looking up from the scroll. "I can't allow him to just go after missing classes once already."  
  
"The Hokage ordered it," Kakashi replied dully, "He was to stay in bed today."  
  
"Is he sick?" the platinum blonde girl asked, shooting Naruto a wary look. The boy scratched behind head and shrugged. He was more than a little confused by the situation. If he was supposed to still be in bed, why did he get that horrible wake up call?  
  
"I don't think so. Hokage probably feels that Naruto is still tired from his trip and the jetlag. A ten hour flight and five mile hike can do that," the masked man shrugged. Ebisu scoffed and rolled the scroll up. The man was bent on ruining the boy's life. Naruto groaned at his bad luck. He was about to argue, when something orange in Kakashi pocket caught the boy's attention. He walked up to the man to investigate it and gasped.  
  
"Ah!" Naruto screamed, "He's got that book! Pervert!" Sakura groaned loudly. The lazy jounin blinked innocently and pulled out the little orange book. It was titled 'Come Come Paradise.' The man was totally unashamed of the item and flipped it open to read. The class paled.  
  
"Your student could have still made it to class Kakashi-sensei," Ebisu said, "The Hokage will understand." The crazy teacher leered at the book with much interest as Kakashi read it, in front of the mortified class. Naruto opened his mouth but a hand landed on his head, effectively silencing him.  
  
"But Naruto-kun's jet got delayed," Kakashi replied innocently while reading his book, "for three hours because of the hurricane in southern Wave Country. He didn't land till late morning and then he had to hike up through the forest to get here by lunch."  
  
"Jet," a nasal voiced boy asked with a more bored look than Kakashi.  
  
"His jet?" the platinum blonde asked, her eyes lighting up with sparkle, "Like his own personal one."  
  
"How could an orphan own a jet?" Ebisu asked dully. Most of the class gasped, including Naruto who went wide-eyed with shock.  
  
"Hmm. The Hokage didn't say and I didn't ask," Kakashi answered. His nose was still in his book as he turned Naruto and pushed the boy out the door.  
  
"Ah! I can walk on my own Kakashi-sensei, stop pushing!" echoed down the hall a moment later.  
  
The white-hair jounin didn't look up from his book until they reached the dormitory. At dorm room 114, the man let go of Naruto's head. They stared at each other for awhile, one seething in anger and the other looking mildly entertained by the display.  
  
Naruto growled and opened his door, not closing it to let the man follow him in.  
  
"So you are the only one who can open the door from the outside," the man asked, not touching the orphan subject. Naruto shrugged and pulled off his uniform. He threw it all over his room and looked through an open box for his pajamas.  
  
"The window is the same way," he said grumpily.  
  
"It can let someone in though, interesting. You didn't make this," Kakashi stated.  
  
"No, my perverted guardian did." The man nodded at the craftsmanship as he played with the door.  
  
"He's the one who reads those novels then?" Naruto just nodded, not wanting to talk anymore. He pulled on his worn-out pajamas and little black nightcap. This level of hell was slowly sinking from the 'putrid' level to the 'decapitated bunnies and squirrels' level.  
  
"Did you want something Kakashi-sensei?" the boy asked yawning loudly. Kakashi threw an alarm clock at the boy.  
  
"Be in room 130 at 4pm today." The boy nodded and the man disappeared in a cloud on smoke. He closed his door and yawned again. Naruto looked at the alarm in his hand and left it unset on a box. He climbed under the covers and went back to bed.  
  
All too soon his stomach growled. He remembered that he hadn't eaten any breakfast this morning. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was actually lunchtime. The blonde dressed, pulling his uniform together, and headed out to eat. The walk to the cafeteria seemed slow, but he really didn't want to see his classmates now. They'd all think he was some poor loser. It was better than letting people know who his actual guardian was. The boy cringed.  
  
"Hey Blondie," the ramen chef waved as Naruto approached. The boy looked at the horrible line and paled.  
  
"Ah! No fair!" he whined and the chef laughed. The man set five packaged bowls of steaming ramen of the counter.  
  
"I got your order all ready for you Blondie. Five large bowls of ramen," the chef laughed as the boy jumped up and down whooping with joy. "Off you go runt, don' drop any." The boy stopped and stared at the jolly old man. His blue eyes grew very serious.  
  
"I would never drop a bowl of ramen," he stated in a grave voice as if it were a life or death matter. The chef laughed even more. He took his bowls and headed up to his table where he found Haku and Zabuza already eating.  
  
The mist ninja looked less weird today. The boy was wearing a summer kimono still, but today it was a deep blue with willow branches patterned on it. Zabuza had put on his jounin uniform but his bandaged face was unchanged. It was oddly comforting today. He didn't know why.  
  
"How was your first day of class?" Haku smiled.  
  
"Uh," the blonde sweated, "I only lasted the first hour. The Hokage sent me to bed after that thankfully." He grinned sheepishly while Haku shook his head ever-smiling. Within a moment, Naruto growled. "But I have the worst teacher in the world! That Ebisu-sensei is a total bastard and a psychopath. I answered the question right and just because he could break into my room he lies and said I was wrong twice!"  
  
Haku cut him off with a hand on his head.  
  
"Huh? What?" Naruto stared dumbfounded at the older teen.  
  
"I'm glad you're back to normal." Haku smiled and Naruto gave the older boy his genuine foxy grin.  
  
"Why did you teacher want to break into your room?" Zabuza asked.  
  
"Because he's a lunatic," the blonde spat ramen as he ranted, "The freak blew a horn to wake me up and then he did it again in my face."  
  
"Naruto-kun, what about him breaking into room though?" Haku asked, trying to pull the boy back onto topic.  
  
"Oh don't worry, he didn't get in. I sealed my door and window last night," the boy grin, "I'm the only person who can get into my room." The boy laughed feeling proud. "Ebisu-sensei got really angry about it though and when he couldn't punish me for it he told the class I'm an orphan." Naruto's mood shifted from light to dark and Haku frowned. He knew much of the boy's past, being first friends with the hyper blonde. The older boy had been at the same orphanage with Naruto until Zabuza and understood it was a sensitive subject. However, Naruto had never known his parents. The brunette had known his parents and was more than glad to have Zabuza now.  
  
"Did Iruka-san make them for you?" the older boy smiled, trying to remind the boy of happier things, "The seals?"  
  
"No, Iruka-sensei forced the old pervert to draw them up," the boy grinned. He wolfed down another bowl of ramen and pulled the next out.  
  
"What are you going to do today?" Haku asked politely.  
  
"Unpacking, do you want to help?" the blonde asked cheerily.  
  
"I can't silly, I'm a Mist ninja," Haku said shaking his head. He'd forgotten how slow the blonde could be at times, "When you're top of your class I'll be able to, but you'll get in trouble with your peers for letting me in otherwise."  
  
"You're probably already getting bothered because you eat with us," the bandaged Mist ninja stated. Naruto shook his head.  
  
"What do I care about other stupid people? Come help me unpack!" the boy yelled.  
  
"Unlike you, Haku does have classes to finish today," Zabuza stated firmly, ending the discussion. The brunette nodded.  
  
Naruto pouted.  
  
"Oh well," the boy shrugged, "I'll meet you for dinner at six, unless my team leader in late again." Zabuza scoffed and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Kakashi is always late. It's from reading all that porn," the man said curtly, watching the blonde roll his eyes, and then added, "He's testing you today."  
  
"Testing us already?" Naruto looked surprised, but the jounin nodded.  
  
"Your team leader is going to see if you're really good enough to be a genin," Haku stated. The blonde stared dumbly at the two Mist ninjas. "Naruto-kun, you do know what a genin is, don't you?"  
  
"Uh," the boy paused, "Oh, what Iruka-sensei mentioned about being tested for the team?"  
  
"Naruto-kun," Haku sighed, shaking his head sadly, "Sometimes I wonder how you survive when you're so slow."  
  
"Ah! Haku-nii-san," Naruto shouted and the other ninjas laughed.  
  
"Just remember: You can't take a jounin down on your own," the older Mist ninja stated, "so don't even try. Whatever test he gives it'll be to measure your abilities, not whether you get the job done." The boy nodded, understanding. "Expect something sadistic and perverted since it is Kakashi."  
  
"Something like your guardian would do." Haku added. Naruto swallowed heavily.  
  
"There aren't any deep ravines around here are there?" the boy asked warily. Both Mist ninjas shook their heads in confusion, but Naruto just sighed in relief. He quickly finished eating and shot his friends a swift farewell. He headed straight back to his room. There were a lot of boxes waiting for him.  
  
When he got inside, he looked around. His clothes and bath boxes were already open. He pulled the clothes box over to the closet and started hanging up his shirts. He had only one nice outfit, which was still rumbled from yesterday. Naruto had mostly black t-shirts with red spirals or plain white. Iruka had packed all the necessary hangers. His tutor really did everything for him, and he got the feeling it'd be tough without that man around now. Sighing, he pulled out his pre-folded shorts, pants and boxers and tucked them into a drawer at the base of the closet, along with his socks.  
  
He threw the empty box near the door and started taking out his bath things. The hanging shower shelf was rather annoying to put together and even more difficult to hook onto the showerhead. He eventually got it though, and stocked it with his shampoo. Since he didn't have a roommate, he got double the closet space, two identical closets with drawers at their bases. He pulled out his towels, all six, and put them it in the other drawer. He threw the empty box in the direction of the other one.  
  
He opened his training gear next. He put the two boxes of weights, weapons and scrolls in the vacant closet. Most of the weights were in a special box and the pouched clothing was folded over it. He reached into the box to pull out the last item only to find it was empty. The boy looked confused, but shrugged. Iruka must have packed his orange jumpsuit elsewhere.  
  
He ripped open the next box that had his mini-refrigerator, pulled it out, and put it between his desk and window.  
  
Naruto looked at his boring desk. It was a simple wooden writing table with two drawers to one side and a wide flat drawer under the tabletop. Digging into a new box, he grabbed all his colorful school supplies and filled the mundane piece of furniture with it. He connected his telephone, a red and orange lighting device that could wake the dead with a single ring. On the large tack-board over his desk, he put the pictures of Iruka and him up. He hid all the photos with his guardian in his drawer, except one, which had the nice old maid kicking his guardian half way out of the photo and the nice lady who followed the old maid standing with Naruto and Iruka off to the corner.  
  
After the photos were his posters and wall scrolls. The blonde put up a large poster looking over the metropolis Hinomoto, Fire Country's capital across from his tack-board. Next was a foot-long fan with red calligraphy painted on gray silk. He put the fan over his door. He took out two charms and hung them on either side of the poster. Lastly he pulled out a wall scroll. It had a picture of forest painted on its white silk. The boy pulled open his door and taped the scroll just below his name.  
  
"So, do you own your own jet?" the platinum blonde asked as she poked her head in. Naruto fell back and hit his head on the last box. He stared up at the girls who began looking around his room.  
  
"Ino, even though his door was open, he could have still been naked," a nasal voice stated. The boy who owned it stood lazily against the doorframe.  
  
"He's got a mini-refrigerator!" Ino screamed and three heads appeared behind the lazy fellow. Naruto knew Sakura's face was one and the other two were the failures from class.  
  
"Cool," the fat kid stated, "I got two in my room."  
  
"Ah," Sakura blushed at her curiosity and tried to cover it, "Naruto-kun don't be late to today's meeting." She tried to smile but her eyes were following Ino who was still exploring his room.  
  
"This one is way nicer than your two Chouji, but not as big. There's a freezer though." The crowd awed, except the nasal guy who just rolled his eyes. "Well?" the platinum blonde asked. Naruto found her head hanging over him. He scrambled away from her.  
  
"What?" he snapped, slightly worried, but really annoyed.  
  
"The jet?" she prompted.  
  
"I don't own a jet," Naruto stated in all honesty.  
  
"Do your parents?" the fat boy asked. Naruto glared at him and the lazy boy hit him on the head for good measure.  
  
"I'm Nara Shikamaru," the lazy boy nodded, "This is Akimichi Chouji and Inuzuka Kiba." The blonde waved as Ino came up and poked him.  
  
"Did you live at an orphanage?"  
  
"I did," he sweated, and then before she could ask more he cut her off by quickly adding, "Now this in my home."  
  
"Oh!" the blonde girl hugged him. He frowned at her as she gave him a pitying look.  
  
"Ah! I've got training," Kiba howled and a bark followed it. Ino squeaked as she hurried off. Sakura bowed and headed after the other girl. The fat guy was already gone, to probably eat more. Naruto sighed. Shikamaru still lazed against his doorframe.  
  
"You're really disgustingly rich, huh?" the boy stated quietly, stepping inside and looking at his pictures. Naruto sweated, "It not my business, but you're ashamed of your adopted family, right?" The blonde frowned and nodded. This guy was creepy, "You play Go or Shogi?"  
  
"Played Go, never Shogi. I'm not great though," he shrugged. He'd only played with his guardian or tutor on occasion.  
  
"How tiresome," the boy huffed, "Well, they've got a Go board in the commons, want to play after dinner?" Naruto grinned and agreed. When he shut his door behind Shikimaru though, he vowed to never open it again. People were definitely weird here. He wondered how Iruka had come out so normal from this school.  
  
The blonde looked down at the empty box and panicked. He only had one more box left and still no sign of his sacred orange tracksuit. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach. Opening the last box he found what he was suspecting, instant ramen. The whole box was filled with ramen. This would normally have made him ecstatic, but it meant he didn't have his tracksuit.  
  
Naruto picked up his phone and dialed the number Iruka had left on it. It rang twice before it was answered.  
  
"Umino Iruka," a calm voice stated on the other side.  
  
"Iruka-sensei where's my orange tracksuit?!" the boy yelled into the receiver, his hands moving frantically.  
  
"Oh Naruto, let me save this number," Iruka's hurried voice stated. The blonde groaned at his tutor's skewed priorities. In a moment the calm voice returned. "How do you like the academy?"  
  
"It's the disembodied babies' level of hell! Did you pack my orange tracksuit?" Naruto screamed.  
  
"You were wearing… Oh dear you changed didn't you?" Iruka's calm voice trailed off and the blonde groaned, falling into a hapless mess on his floor. "I'll find it and mail it to you. Now what's so terrible about school?"  
  
"It's your fault," the boy growled, "those seals really got my teacher mad and then he got even angrier when I knew everything about the school primer."  
  
"Oh," the voice frown, "Well, don't let them take the seals off. I'll call the Hokage and speak with him. Is that all?"  
  
"No, people are weird here. My homeroom teacher is the devil, Haku is a dressing like a girl, there's a guy with creepy red eyes and my team leader is a pervert reading 'Come Come Paradise' all the time!" the blonde gasped for air and waited for Iruka's reply.  
  
"Haku is a transvestite. Hmm, he always was a bit girly," Iruka sighed, it was like he was commenting on his laundry, "but this thing about your team leader is rather serious. Setting such a bad example for you children." Naruto groaned; he'd forgotten that Iruka never quite understood how grave the situations were. His stomach growled.  
  
"Ah! Iruka-sensei, I'm hungry. Can I call you later?" the boy pouted.  
  
"Of course, I didn't send you with a coffeemaker though to boil water with, but I ordered it so it'll arrive by the end of the week," there was a pause as other voices came onto the other side. "Oh, Naruto there's someone who wants to say-" the blonde hung up and disconnected the phone. He didn't want to talk to another else over there. He looked on his desk and saw the thermos of cold ramen Haku had given him earlier. He opened it up, and ate it. It was like thick soup, ramen flavored. The taste was not bad.  
  
His clock read 3:45 so he left his dorm and headed to room 130. His two teammates were waiting for him when he arrived.  
  
"Hi, how are you?" the blonde smiled and sat next to Sakura. She huffed and ignored him.  
  
"We lost points because of you," Sasuke said in a flat tone.  
  
"Points?" the blonde recalled something about this morning.  
  
"Each team gains or loses points based on behavior and performance," Sakura explained and pointed to the board. Team 7, which had their names under it, had no points. It was then that Naruto noticed that his was the room he'd been in this morning. "So take the damn seal off and apologize to the teacher so we can get some points you idiot." He scrunched his face and pouted.  
  
"Nothing in the school rules states that I can't have them," he said, not wanting to admit that he couldn't remove them.  
  
"Look just because you want to be dead last doesn't mean you can bring Sasuke and me with you! Right Sasuke-kun?"  
  
"It doesn't matter, that idiot won't pass our leader's test anyway."  
  
"And how do you know that boy? You don't even know who I am," Kakashi walked into the room, "It's not nice to actually meet you all."  
  
"You're on time. Finished the book didn't you?" the blonde asked dully. The older man laughed and nodded, earning confused looks from his team. He waved the insult off like an insect.  
  
"I imagine that devil warned you," the older man stated, completely ignoring the other two in the room. Naruto nodded. "Yeah, well enough chitchat. I came to say that you each have until dinner to get at least one of two bells," the man pointed to a pair of bells hanging by his waist, "Only two bells means only two pass. Good luck."  
  
"Wait! How are we supposed to get them from you?" Sakura steamed, "If you go into a restricted area then we can't follow!"  
  
"Hmm," the jounin posed in deep thought. Naruto lunged at the man who easily sidestepped, sending the boy into the wall. "Tough luck," he answered. He wrinkled his eye in amusement and disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
  
"You really are a total idiot," Sasuke stated. He stood up and left the grumbling blonde behind.  
  
"Sasuke and I are going to pass, so don't even ask us for help loser," Sakura shook her head and followed after Sasuke. Naruto frowned and rubbed his head. That hadn't gone as planned, or how he'd hoped. Iruka was right, the dumber they seem the smarter they are. His team leader was quick and skilled. If Zabuza was annoyed with the perverted man, it probably meant he'd been beaten by the Leaf ninja.  
  
The blonde went back to his room and hid there till dinner. He spent the time training. He didn't want to be on some team with either of those jerks. But he wouldn't let them best him. So he started planning what would be the greatest plan. Bells or no bells, he'd kick some ass.  
  
When dinner came he ran to get his ramen. The chef had five large bowls packed and waiting for him. He hugged the man and bounced off to eat with Haku. He stopped however when he saw his team. Both looked rather angry, annoyed and messy. They hadn't gotten a bell yet. He smiled.  
  
"How's the hunting going?" the boy smiled. If they wouldn't willingly help, he'd make them help without their knowledge. Kakashi had to be watching from somewhere, the guy was everywhere.  
  
"Shut up Naruto, you didn't get any bells either," Sakura jumped on the boy. He had to hand his bowls to some afro haired boy to keep them safe.  
  
"Could you hold this for me, um, just for a bit." The boy nodded simply.  
  
"You're a stupid dead-last loser!"  
  
"Look, it's not my fault you're a weak little girl!" he said as he pushed her off.  
  
"Oh you!" she shrieked.  
  
"What? At least I'm not some stupid fan-girl after some pathetic wannabe!" Naruto shot back. He grinned like a devil when Sasuke's head whipped up.  
  
"What did you say about my Sasuke you dead-last loser?!" Sakura screamed. He smirked and puffed himself up.  
  
"You heard me. I don't want anything to do with some moron who's trying to be like his big brother and failing at it." The cafeteria quieted and Sasuke glared.  
  
"Say that again you loser," he growled.  
  
"I said you're brother's better than you'll ever be wimp," he said and dodged as Sasuke threw a kunai, jumping up and knocking things everywhere.  
  
The longhaired boy was behind Naruto in a second. The blonde had to jump to get away. Sasuke followed him. Sasuke erupted into an aerial combo, feet and fists flying towards the blonde. Naruto desperately blocked the attacks, but allowed one of the enraged boy's punches to connect solidly with his stomach. Grinning, he locked his hands around the fist and pulled Sasuke down with him, sending the two to the floor with a solid thump. They rolled around on the floor, Sasuke doing his best to send Naruto's brains to the floor while Naruto tried to do the same. Sasuke landed a punch on the blonde's jaw knocking his head back with a sickening thud.  
  
"Kakashi-sensei, stop them!" Sakura screamed. The jounin came into view for a second and Naruto stood. But the other boy leaped up into the air and threw a kick at the blonde's face. Kakashi stopped the kick mid-air but Naruto still fell back from the shock into the older man and rolled to the side. The cafeteria settled down and everyone waited for the jounin to reprimand the two troublemakers.  
  
"Well, looks like you all pass," the jounin stated in a happy tone, letting Sasuke drop and turning to Naruto. A grinning and jingling blonde looked up from the ground. A silver eyebrow rose but said nothing. "See you tomorrow."  
  
"I told you the plan would work," Sasuke stated, dusting himself off.  
  
"What?!" Naruto yelled, but it was too late. The other boy had taken credit his great plan. The whole cafeteria burst into conversation as the blonde seethed with anger.  
  
"Oh Sasuke-kun, that was a brilliant plan," the platinum blonde fan-girl squealed. Sakura stood confused but sighed with relief when she realized she'd been passed. Everyone was congratulating the Uchiha boy.  
  
The blonde rose and got ready to throttle the prick when something covered his shoulders. He blinked in surprise. It was a black coat with red clouds on it. The fabric was raw silk, very well made. He remembered seeing it before.  
  
"Ah, this is Itachi-san's," he started pulling it off but he looked around. Everyone had quieted down to whispers again; people did that a lot around here.  
  
"It's yours," said a familiar bored voice. Naruto turned to find Itachi in his own coat staring down at him. He sweated. This guy was weird.  
  
"I can't wear this, I'll be out of uniform," the blonde pulled it off and held it out to the teen, "But thanks anyway."  
  
"Interesting…" the teen smirked and walked away, not taking the coat, leaving Naruto still very confused.  
  
"What the hell is with that guy?" the blonde shook his head, sighing. He looked at the coat again. The raw silk was a fine thread and shimmered in the light. The inside was soft white velvet. His name was embroidered on the inside of the left edge of the high collar.  
  
Suddenly five large ramen bowls were in Naruto's face. Startled, he stared at the boy holding them. The taller, dark hair boy stood stiffing, looking rather mysterious in the school uniform with round black shades. The smell on fresh ramen brought the blonde back from his staring.  
  
"Oh. Hah. Thanks… Um…" the blonde scratched his head and sweated.  
  
"Aburame Shino," the other boy answered languidly. Naruto threw the giant coat over his shoulder and took the bowls.  
  
"Uzumaki Naruto," he smiled, "Hey, hey, do you want one of my bowls?" the boy shook his head and revealed a lunch box purchased from one of the shops. "Do you want to eat with me?" The other boy paused and then gave a shrug. Naruto beamed with joy. He'd made his second new friend, because those crazies who barged into his room didn't count, except Shikamaru - his first new friend.  
  
"They picked you to be an Akatsuki!" Haku exclaimed happily when the two Leaf genin reach the table.  
  
"Akatsuki?" he asked. Haku nodded. As soon as Naruto sat down Haku took the coat and examined it delicately. He boy cooed over the beautiful garment before folding it properly and placing in on the back of the blonde's chair. The blonde looked behind at Shino, who was still standing. "Ah! Sorry. Shino-san, this is Momochi Zabuza and Haku. They're old friends of mine."  
  
"I'm Aburame Shino," the boy stated and bowed politely, taking the other seat by Naruto. "May I ask what an Akatsuki is?"  
  
"The Akatsuki are all elite ninjas," Haku stated. He formed a block of ice from his glass of water and wrapped it in a napkin. Naruto winced as the coldness touched his sore and swelling jaw. "They choose only the best to be part of their group. At the academy they act like the student council you would find at ordinary schools. Once they graduate they stay together, like a fellowship. What makes them truly strange is that they don't pay any attention to village association, just ability," Haku looked at the coat sitting on the blonde shoulder. "The members are considered the elite of the entire ninja community."  
  
"Hey, hey, how did he know I'm any good? I only showed him my Sexy no Jutsu?!" the blonde frowned. Shino's brow rose at the last part and Zabuza choked on his rice.  
  
"Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu is something silly he made up, it's not worth worrying about," Haku sweated as he politely addressed the boy across from him.  
  
"Yeah, but it took out the Hokage and half the sixth floor. That old man's nose was still bleeding when we got back to the office," Naruto laugh.  
  
Suddenly Zabuza started laughing and the young ninjas stared in shocked silence. Shino simply blinked, understanding this was not a normal occurrence and waiting with the others.  
  
"What did Itachi say when he saw it?" the older Mist ninja asked between bouts laughter.  
  
"Um… I think he said 'Stupid' or something," Naruto sweated. The devilish man grinned behind his bandages.  
  
"I bet that was the first time that anal prick has ever seen a naked woman." The man howled with laughter. It was really frightening to watch him laugh. The bandages on his face parted, showing razor-sharp teeth inside.  
  
"I think I understand what the Sexy no Jutsu is," Shino state blandly, "and you forget your display just now."  
  
"You mean Sasuke's great plan?" Naruto said sarcastically.  
  
"I knew it was your plan," Shino stated and continued when the other boy went into wide-eyed shock, "You handed me the bowls, it seemed like you were preparing for it. Sasuke spilt most of his food over himself. If he'd planned it, he wouldn't have done something so careless." The shaded boy shrugged as if it was obvious.  
  
"To anyone skilled near by it would have been obvious as well. Zabuza and I knew because we know your style," Haku smiled, ruffling the stunned boy spikes. "I know Iruka is going to be so proud when he finds out you're an Akatsuki.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to be student council freak with a pocket protector," the blonde huffed. The two Mist ninjas stared at him blankly.  
  
"That's not what the Akatsuki are, and I don't know if they allow people to decline the position," Zabuza stated mildly, "Orochimaru is the only man I know who had quit and lived, but he's one of the legendary three."  
  
"I'm not doing something just because people tell me to," Naruto growled. He'd finished his five bowls and stood.  
  
"Hypocrite," Haku stated, "I'll just call Iruka-san then."  
  
"I'm going back to bed," Naruto bolted up and steamed, "see you for lunch tomorrow." The blonde grabbed his coat and stalked off. Shino stood with him, not understanding, but since he had finished dinner he didn't need to stay. Haku's laughter followed them as the left. They both headed back to the dorms.  
  
"What is so important that you have to use seals to keep it safe?" Shino ask curiously.  
  
"Oh, that's just my tutor, Iruka-sensei. He told me to put them on my door and window because you can't be too careful in a ninja academy," blonde snickered, "but all the trouble is worth it to annoy that Ebisu-sensei." Shino nodded, but Naruto couldn't tell whether it was in agreement or understanding.  
  
Waiting at Naruto's door was Itachi. The teen was holding a box.  
  
"This is my room," Shino stated, pointing at the door next to Naruto's. The blonde waved goodbye. Itachi stood waiting and Naruto open the door for him. It was only after the door closed that the older boy spoke.  
  
"It's clean." Itachi placed the box on the floor by the orange futon.  
  
"That won't last," the blond replied, yawning, and put the coat on the chair.  
  
"It will stay clean," Itachi stated coolly. Naruto looked up at the older boy's statement and asked the first thing that came to mind when they came face to face.  
  
"Hey, what happened to your face?" he said staring at the red eyes.  
  
"Uchiha is an Advanced Bloodline. My eyes are Sharingan," Itachi stated simply. He pulled the boy around, taking his blue jacket off. He shook it straight and neatened the folds.  
  
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?!" Naruto asked crossing his arms. "And I didn't mean your eyes. I meant those lines." Itachi looked at the boy in genuine surprise - a raised brow.  
  
"I don't know. They are just there." He turned back to the jacket and hung it up in the boy's closet. He looked through the boy's clothes hanging nearby.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?!" the small boy groaned and rolled his eyes. He grabbed the large coat and shoved it at Itachi. "Could you just take the stupid coat back already? I don't want it!" the blonde yelled exasperatedly. Before the boy could protest the teen had the coat on him. "Ah! Why can't I move?"  
  
"Body bind," Itachi stated. He opened the box and started trying to fit the oversized coat to the boy. He sighed in defeat and stepped back after a moment. "You will not wear this until it's been fitted. I'll take you on the next holiday to have it fitted at the tailors."  
  
"I said I'm not going to be one of you!" he shouted.  
  
"Totally unpredictable," Itachi smirked, "You planned that fight, you are very rich, you are moderately strong and you are determined. You don't betray your teammates, you don't care that others think you're stupid, and you don't let people push you around." The teen put his face right in front of Naruto's, "but most of all, you are not afraid of anything truly frightening."  
  
Naruto started laughing. Itachi looked confused, but didn't say anything, simply pulled off the large coat and put it in the closet.  
  
"I wouldn't call them teammates and the only way to pass the test was if we worked as a team," Itachi released the boy who fell to the floor. "I do care that people think I'm stupid, but my friends don't and that's what's really important."  
  
"I know you're not stupid," Itachi replied, and leaned against the desk.  
  
"Are you my friend?" Naruto asked looking up from the floor.  
  
"No, I'm your guide."  
  
"Guide?" the blonde parrot, drawing out the word like he'd never heard it before.  
  
"Yes, your guide. You are under my supervision, just as I am under another clan member's watch," the teen explained evenly. Before Naruto could question him again, he continued, "Akatsuki. We are like a clan. We look out for each other, sometimes."  
  
"Yes, and I'm a pink fluffy bunny," the boy replied, "What's this clan? Are you trying to take over the world, because I don't care to have the world."  
  
"No," Itachi sighed, "It's difficult to explain, but you are part of the clan now."  
  
"I can leave, Orochimaru did," the boy growled and pointing his finger at the older ninja.  
  
"Orochimaru was forced to leave because he was insane," Itachi said, in a deadly tone. "And it is rude to point your finger." The boy grumbled, crossing his arms in his sitting position. The teen sighed and looked at the boy's wardrobe again.  
  
"You are very rich. That outfit from yesterday was extremely expensive," Itachi sifted through the other clothes, "and now it's dirty. Everything else is very ordinary and clean though."  
  
"Would you leave already?"  
  
"No," Itachi replied, "The teachers don't like you because you are listed as an orphan - a charity case. Odd thing is that your birth and adoption records are sealed. Interestingly, your Sexy no Jutsu is very… accurate."  
  
"Hey, what…" the boy looked warily at the older teen.  
  
"I know who your guardian is. I also know your history, as does the clan." Itachi watched calmly as his new ward groaned and flopped on the floor in a defeated fashion.  
  
"Why me?" he asked his ceiling.  
  
"Because I chose you," Itachi smirked and the boy looked surprised at the teen, "I saw you handle Haku and how Zabuza tolerates you. You attacked the Hokage, even though it was a stupid offensive. That's why."  
  
"Then why did you wait till now?"  
  
"You walked right into one of the clan elders coming out of the Hokage's office, not the best first impression," the red-eyed teen retorted with a slight tone in his voice. Naruto grinned sheepishly. "They only acknowledged you after your display in the cafeteria. I was surprised that you manipulated my brother so well."  
  
"He hates me," the boy stated grumpily. He tried not to care that the boy hated him, but it really bothered him. He'd done nothing to bother the other boy until now.  
  
"Welcome to the club," Itachi shrugged.  
  
"Aren't brothers supposed to at least tolerate each other?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"I refused to choose him to as an Akatsuki. I get to choose who I want; he's not right for it. He's weak minded."  
  
"You mean selfish, egotistical and totally a jackass," Naruto corrected, throwing his arms up for emphasis.  
  
"You'll learn to live with him, I had to."  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be cold and heartless? Are you just being nice to get me to join?" the blonde asked stretching on his floor.  
  
"Maybe," Itachi smirked.  
  
"Well, it's working," Naruto nodded and yawned.  
  
"Sleep," Itachi touched the door, "Oh, and how did you manage such a high level sealing technique?"  
  
"Magic," the blonde grinned. The older boy scoffed.  
  
The door closed and Naruto was alone. He was alone with a very comfy and inviting bed. He changed and went to sleep dreaming of ramen and beating Sasuke.


	3. Self Imposed Fieldtrips

  
  
**Hidden Village Ninja Academy**  
  
By Far Away for Today  
  
Summary: [AU] Naruto had been forced to enroll in the Ninja Academy. He wanted eat ramen and sleep. Instead he got hounded by weirdoes, ditched by his team and tortured by perverts. Not the best first impression.  
  
Disclaimer: "I do not own Naruto, otherwise I'd be rich." - Old Chinese Proverb

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you very much for the commentary you've sent.  
  
I'd like the first address the ridiculously long delay for this chapter. The simple reason for delay being that my sister got married, something I hope you can understand and respect. Preparing for relatives from India, Africa, London, Canada, and across the USA took time, as did preparing for the 3-day wedding ceremony itself. However, since she doesn't plan on having another wedding again, ever, I don't feel that there will be repeat of such a long delay. Any delays that do occur from now on would be due to other projects I'll be starting.  
  
Next, some of you have asked questions about this story. I don't believe that commenting on reviews belongs here, therefore I've answered many of your comments and questions in my livejournal. I will also be posting there some technical information about the HVNA world that some of you curious types enjoy as much as myself. The address is in my author profile now. Weather Marmalade, you may especially want to read those responses once you've finished this chapter. Please feel free to continue questioning, commenting, and/or contacting me about my writing.  
  
Finally, I'd like to thank Nick, my editor. Slow and steady wins the race dude.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Self-Imposed Fieldtrips**  
  
Morning began early in the Hidden Village Ninja Academy, heralded by the sweet sounds of birds singing, dogs playing and people working. To these sounds, Naruto awoke, wanting to skewer each and every squeaking, barking and screaming thing he could hear. The noise had started at 3am and had only gotten louder since. His small blonde head was throbbing in pain. He groaned into his pillow as the loud atrocious idiot yelled yet again.  
  
Before he could get up and yell obscene things out his window, an annoying buzz came from his pillow as it started vibrating. Throwing the pillow across the dorm room, the half-awake boy found an alarm under his pillow. He pulled himself up and forced the sleepiness from his brain. After a few moments he finally focused on the shaking and flashing plastic thing. The thing was a little smaller than his fist. It didn't have an 'off' button, though it did have plenty of other buttons. Naruto's fuzzy mind realized that the 'alarm' was a cellular phone, and after several sleepy attempts to answer it, remembered that cellular phones didn't work on the academy's grounds.  
  
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he read the yellow note attached to the gadget.  
  
_**It turns off when you find me. - Itachi **_  
  
The boy scoffed and broke the little thing in half. That stopped the noise just as well. He pulled himself from his bedding and crawled into his bathroom. It didn't take long for him to wake up once he got cold water on himself. Feeling refreshed and awake, he greeted his reflection. His jaw had healed up nicely, leaving only a light flush on his skin. He hoped nobody would notice his quick improvement, but then, he wasn't entirely healthy yet. The back of his head still ached.  
  
Naruto dressed quickly and checked his clock. He'd have time for a breakfast this morning before getting to class - something he hadn't had time for yesterday. After checking his uniform, he left his room and ran into a girl - literally.  
  
"Ah, sorry," Naruto apologized. He recognized her as the quiet dark haired girl who had poorly defended him in class the day before. He didn't remember her name but he did appreciate her small effort. The blonde didn't get a chance to thank her though, as she squeaked and ran back into her room.  
  
The blonde walked back into his room to check himself over again. He hadn't grown a second head or fangs since he'd left his room. With a shrug, he reaffirmed his personal slogan: People here were just weird.  
  
Naruto headed to the commons. The common room wasn't very big, but it was filled with many cushy chairs and study tables. The focus of the room was the fireplace built into the center stairwell that spiraled to the upper levels. It felt warm and cozy. He liked it; it reminded him of his tutor's home.  
  
At this hour, only a few students were in the room. Sitting in front of the fireplace, crouched over a Go board, were Shino and Shikamaru. The hyper blonde bounded over to them and studied the board.  
  
The game seemed to be over and they were only reviewing their moves now. Shikamaru looked very serious as he studied the Go board. The normally apathetic boy seemed genuinely interested in the board.  
  
"Ah, I forgot!" Naruto smacked his head and groaned. Shino looked up from the board and stared at the guilty looking blonde.  
  
"Yeah, you did," Shikamaru replied, turning to greet the young blonde with a yawn. Even though Shikamaru didn't take the game lazily, he was still shamelessly dressed in his pajamas. Naruto was actually a little jealous of how cool the lazy first year looked, comfortable but ready to kill in his black satin button shirt and matching drawstring bottoms.  
  
Shino, like Naruto, was in uniform already. Unlike the messy blonde, Shino's uniform was pressed crisply, with creases running with razor precision down the front of his pants. The white collar was spotless against his deep navy suit jacket. The standardized black boots and forehead protector shone in the firelight. There was not a hint of lint or loose threads on his person. The only untamed part of the quiet, methodical boy was his hair. The frizzy mass seemed to rebel against the boy's orderly nature. In contrast, Naruto rebelled against the conformity with his whole being. His uniform was loose and off-centered. The folds in his pants were barely visible. His forehead protector was tied with a messy knot and his boots were already scuffed.  
  
Shino began clearing the stones as Shikamaru stretched out. The two dark haired boys stood up from their finished game and bowed.  
  
"Thank you for the game," they stated to each other. Naruto watched with a blank expression on his face. He didn't understand what the hell they were doing, but it seemed important.  
  
"Let's get some breakfast," Shikamaru stated tiredly. Shino and Naruto let the longhaired boy lead the way to the cafeteria. Naruto grinned and wondered how much work Shikamaru did to keep himself lazy all the time. The blonde could never suppress his excitement, which even now expressed itself in his huge grin.  
  
He was really happy to have friends, and even happier that they were so cool. Shino was quiet, but not at all dumb, and Shikamaru was interesting, in a not-crazy or weird way… which reminded the blonde.  
  
"Sorry, about the game Shikamaru. Something came up last night," the blonde apologized and rubbed his head sheepishly. He winced in pain as his hand brushed against the tender spot on the back of his head.  
  
"Don't worry, we can play later. What did the guy in the big coat want last night anyway?" Shikamaru asked lazily. Naruto stared in confusion and the other boy sighed noisily. "I saw that you ate dinner with Shino. When you weren't in the commons afterwards, I went to ask him where you'd gone. He told me about that guy meeting you. So, what did the mystery man want?" Naruto slowly processed Shikamaru's statements and nodded as Shikamaru rolled his eyes.  
  
"Oh, Itachi just wanted to size my coat," the blonde shrugged, "It's too big for me though."  
  
"Are you going to join the Akatsuki then?" Shino asked with a raised brow.  
  
"I don't really know what they are. All I know is that I don't get a choice in the matter," the blonde sighed. The other two boys looked at him in slight confusion. "The Akatsuki don't allow people to refuse their membership, I don't know why."  
  
"Their members are also some of the world best ninja," Shino said.  
  
"So, the Akatsuki are great ninja, that doesn't say that all the great ninja are Akatsuki," Shikamaru pointed out, "Anyway, what do you know about this Itachi guy?"  
  
"Itachi? He's Sasuke's older brother, they hate each other and he's a sixth year," Naruto shrugged, "That's all I know." He scrunched his face and thought of what the older boy could want from him. The ideas that ran through his mind were all bad. Itachi had been polite last night, but that didn't seem like his true character. The dark teen couldn't be trusted, especially since he claimed to know Naruto's past.  
  
The three spent the rest of the walk in silence, picking up a breakfast tray each as they entered the cafeteria. All the trays were alike, carrying well-balanced breakfasts for the students. Naruto grimaced at the disgusting food. He cursed his stupid glue-chewing guardian for sending him here. He still wasn't enjoying his stay, even if he had made some friends.  
  
"Why can't I have ramen for breakfast?" Naruto whined, "This is gross."  
  
"It's a well-balanced meal," Shino stated, "Breakfast is uniform and military, to remind the students of what ninja really are."  
  
Shikamaru headed towards the group of first year Leaf students until Naruto took the lead. Without a word the two followed. He led them to the second-level table by the waterfall, which he was starting to consider his own.  
  
"I guess I understand why you'd want to sit here," Shikamaru said and gave his nod of approval to the surroundings. Naruto flashed a smile before digging into his breakfast: grainy cardboard. The tasted lingered in his mouth; he'd have to brush that out before class.  
  
"So, we're military?" Naruto asked, after he'd shoveled some of the cardboard down his throat.  
  
"Ninja were military but that was a long time ago," Shino explained, calmly ingesting the food, "In the last century all the ninja villages organized and formed a united federation."  
  
"That was before or after the five countries united?" Shikamaru asked around a mouthful of the gruel.  
  
"Before, it's what prompted the Five-Point Alliance."  
  
"Wow," Naruto awed, "You really know a lot about ninja."  
  
"It was in the primer," Shino shrugged. Naruto's face went blank.  
  
"Naruto, you memorized the whole primer but you don't really know what it means, do you?" Shikamaru sighed when Naruto shook his head. The blonde just glared at the lazy ninja.  
  
"Good morning Naruto-kun," Haku smiled as he arrived at the table with Zabuza. The feminine boy set his breakfast down and gave Naruto a hug before taking a seat.  
  
The two other Leaf ninjas stared at the display of affection. Shino resumed eating after a moment, understanding that this was normal behavior, but Shikamaru quirked his brow as he puzzled over the kind of relationship Naruto shared with the Mist ninja. The puzzling stopped when an angry bandaged Mist jounin came to the table and laid a deadly glare on him.  
  
The fourth-year teen opened his neatly made lunch box and began digging into it as Zabuza grumpily pulled himself an extra chair. The Mist jounin did not take mornings well - not that he took the rest of life well, either.  
  
"Hey, hey, why do you get a special breakfast?" Naruto whined as he noticed the stark difference between Haku's breakfast and his own. Haku's navy lunch box was filled with colorful slices of meats and sushi. Cherry tomatoes and a plum sat next to bottle of milk. A small ornate box held a cup of steaming rice and a fresh baked wheat roll sat wrapped in an embroidered blue napkin.  
  
"I'm a fourth-year ninja. The teachers map out the specific dietary needs of each student in their first year. Mine are unique enough that I require a different menu from the standard one," Haku stated like a book - a perky and smiling book. The blonde stared blankly at the other boy. Haku giggled at the slow blonde. "I need specific foods that have to be specially ordered and prepared for me." The younger boy's face was still blank. The group simply waited, quickly becoming accustomed to the delay responses, until the blonde nodded in understanding.  
  
"Are they going to test us or simply observe, Momochi-san?" Shino asked in his detached manner. Naruto liked the boy's simple attitude; he was relieved to have found a normal, if emotionally blank, person to talk to.  
  
"They mostly observe you and plan the menus based off of your strengths and weaknesses, I think. You're Shino-kun correct?" Haku asked and Shino nodded in response. "Ah, call me Haku-sempai since you're friends with Naruto-kun. And you are?" He turned to Shikamaru.  
  
"Nara Shikamaru," he replied with a slightly wary look. Naruto figured that Haku had to be used to the treatment; the older teen ignored the look. Cross-dressing, it appeared, was rare among ninjas.  
  
"We're going to need a bigger table I think," Haku stated thoughtfully looking at the faces around the table, "I'll go request one after lunch."  
  
"Ah. How do you get a bigger table?" Naruto asked. Zabuza rolled his eyes.  
  
"I just have to send a request to the cafeteria staff. They'll get it set up," Haku smiled, "I think a six-chair table should be enough for now."  
  
"They do that here?" Shikamaru questioned. Haku smiled as he shook his head.  
  
"The top students get privileges," Haku stated. He was ever calm and friendly, not the powerful looking type. It was hard to imagine the kimono-garbed teen even punching someone - slapping seemed like a more fitting image.  
  
"What do you mean by privileges?" Shino asked. Haku smiled pleasantly in return.  
  
"Like being out of uniform, sleeping or cutting class, getting special items you want… Stuff like that," Haku shrugged. Shikamaru nodded and chewed his breakfast thoughtfully. The Mist ninja clapped his hands together and squealed happily. "Why don't I show you? You're all in Naruto-kun's class right?" Haku smiled mischievously.  
  
"Don't let Naruto skip class," the jounin stated in a grim tone. "Iruka called after dinner. You hung up on him yesterday and he wasn't happy." Naruto grimaced; he still hadn't reconnected his phone. He would be getting an earful from Iruka. The jounin was watching and laughed at the blonde. "I mentioned that you'd been chosen as an Akatsuki and he sounded worried. Your guardian however was not pleased and insisted you decline the position." Naruto rolled his eyes.  
  
"He does mean well," Haku pointed out.  
  
"Except he's not well in the head!" the blonde growled.  
  
"Iruka requested Haku and I help guide your training," Zabuza announced, changing the subject, "I assume he just wants us to keep an eye on you."  
  
"It's not like I'm going to do anything illegal," the blonde groaned. The two Mist ninja stared quietly not answering. "Oh, I only did that once! And it was Haku-nii-san's idea!" Haku bubbled with laughter.  
  
"I didn't tell you to actually paint spirals all over the monument," the feminine boy replied between fits of laughter, "Mizuki-sensei was so mad!"  
  
"He was mad to begin with," the blonde retorted angrily, "I was red for the whole day for that!" Naruto groaned as Haku laughed harder.  
  
"You are one weird guy, Naruto," Shikamaru stated with a smirk. He seemed to approve of Naruto's strangeness though. The blonde grinned back. Shino watched the exchange impassively.  
  
"Me. Weird? I thought I was the normal one around here," the blonde laughed, "Everyone is so disturbed!" He threw his hands up exaggerating and everyone laughed, except Zabuza. He didn't seem to get the joke.  
  
"You are more than weird," Zabuza stated. The man grinned beneath his bandages as the group laughed. Naruto threw a piece of carrot at the jounin in retaliation. It missed.  
  
"I may be weird, but at least I've never gotten white-washed by toddlers," Naruto laugh as Haku smiled behind his hand. Zabuza almost pouted, but growled instead. Having finished his breakfast, the Mist jounin took the excuse to stand up.  
  
"I'll miss lunch today, so don't wait," the man said to Haku and ruffled Naruto's hair before leaving. The blonde flailed theatrically, as his friends started to laugh again.  
  
"White-washed…" Shino repeated after the laughter quieted. The stoic boy rolled the word out of his mouth, testing the sound. It wasn't a familiar term for him. He looked at Shikamaru, who shrugged lazily.  
  
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" the blonde asked after watching his friends' exchange.  
  
"What is white-washed?" Shino asked.  
  
"Oh, that's Wave country slang for when you cover somebody in snow," Naruto smiled happily, "What do you call it here?"  
  
"It doesn't snow in the Fire country Naruto-kun," Haku reminded the blonde boy. Naruto didn't seem to comprehend Haku's statement.  
  
"So?" he asked, tilting his head in a curious manner. Haku sighed.  
  
"They don't have a name for it in the Fire country because it doesn't snow here," the older teen smiled. Naruto nodded puzzling over the concept.  
  
"I have never traveled outside the Fire country," Shino stated.  
  
"Never?" Haku stared at the other boy in awe.  
  
"Neither have I," Shikamaru added lazily. Haku found it fascinating, while Naruto was still confused.  
  
"Do either of you travel much?" Shino asked, trying to keep the blonde from going into mute shock, which seemed to happen frequently. So frequently in fact, that he was beginning to ignore it.  
  
"I travel as my missions require," Haku stated.  
  
"Most of the time I stay in the Wave country," Naruto beamed, "otherwise I travel all over."  
  
"You travel, in your guardian's jet?" Shikamaru asked. The lethargic boy caught the shocked expression on Haku's face and the glared from the blonde.  
  
"I said I don't own a jet," Naruto pouted.  
  
"But you didn't say if your guardian owned one," the lazy boy sighed noisily to emphasize his boredom with the blonde's poor evasive tactics. Naruto growled in response. This guy was eerily correct about everything…  
  
Shikamaru was definitely something. The guy was lazy, but he was quick at catching every detail. However, Shikamaru wasn't quick at everything, since he didn't grab the flying breakfast plate before it splattered across his face. He grumbled and leveled an annoyed glare at the offending fist that had catapulted the gruel, and its owner.  
  
"You tried to hurt Sasuke!" Sakura's flaming eyes stared level with Naruto's and tried to burn a hole through his skull. But she was neither the first nor the most skilled to try that attack, so it failed to evoke even a look of annoyance from the blonde genin. Naruto simply handed Shikamaru a napkin and ignored the obnoxious girl.  
  
"How dare you say those things about Sasuke, even if he told you to say them," Ino shrieked from the other side of the blonde. He took this moment to stare at girls in confusion. His head volleyed between the two fan-girls flanking him before he shot up from his seat angrily. Naruto shook with anger and growled. Sakura and Ino stepped back in fright at the sudden change.  
  
"That's right! I need to kick the pretty-boy's ass for stealing credit for my plan!" the enraged blonde declared. He rounded on Sakura. "Where is that bastard?"  
  
"Why would we tell you?" she glared defiantly back. Her bravado fell flat as she leaned away from Naruto warily. Knowing that girls were stupid creatures, Naruto knew just how to get what he wanted.  
  
"Oh, afraid he can't handle me. I'm glad you realized I'm the better Sakura-chan," the blonde beamed.  
  
"What?! She didn't say that!" Ino spat back, "We just don't want you bothering our precious Sasuke while he meditates."  
  
"Oh, so the jerk fell asleep somewhere," Naruto rolled his eyes and nodded contemptuously.  
  
"No!" they screamed in unison.  
  
"Prove it," he dared with his fox grin shining. Ino grabbed the offending boy and dragged him behind her. Shikamaru burst into laughter as they left.  
  
Ino pulled Naruto to the sky-bridge leading to the Leaf dormitory's sixth floor. He noticed Itachi staying at the far end, before Ino stopped and roughly turned Naruto around. The blonde felt a rush of dizziness from the change in momentum and his head throbbed again.  
  
"There," Ino pointed to a stone lion jutting out of the rock, "Does it look like he's sleeping to you?" Naruto squinted and made out the dark form of his new teammate.  
  
"I can't tell. I guess I'll go get a closer look," Naruto grinned. The boy leapfrogged his way to the lion's head and a chorus of profane threats followed him. It was no surprise the anti-social boy was expecting him when he reached the giant roaring head.  
  
Sasuke make no indication that he felt Naruto's presence, but they both knew.  
  
"I don't like you," Naruto stated with a growl. It was the truth, he didn't like him, but he had to work for a very long time with this jerk.  
  
"Do you think I care?" Sasuke carelessly replied.  
  
"Yeah, you care," Naruto grinned as Sasuke turned to see him, "You cared that I made you look bad in front of everyone."  
  
"Hah. You're nothing but a loser," Sasuke smirked, "A charity case."  
  
It took all of Naruto's self-control not to hit the smug Uchiha. He could still hit below the belt, though, even if he couldn't use his fists.  
  
"I'm an Akatsuki and you're not. I'd say there's no charity in that," Naruto gloated. Sasuke growled and glared at the blonde. Naruto wanted nothing more than to rub it in Sasuke's face, but he needed friends. Iruka had always told him, friends are easily lost and hard to win back. The blonde shrugged. "I don't want to be one though." He huffed and sat down.  
  
"How can you say that?" Sasuke glared angrily, "Akatsuki are the strongest ninjas in the world."  
  
"So, I don't want to be somebody's lap-dog, especially your brother's! He's a creepy stalker!" Naruto ranted and Sasuke edged back, "He keeps finding me and leaving me notes… It's just disturbing. The red eyes are cool, but those creepy wrinkles on his face… Eww! And he's all bossing me around and putting me in body binds! Who does he think he is? Do you know he told me I have to keep my room clean? I'm never clean!" Naruto yelled and flopped on his back in exhaustion. It felt surprisingly good though. "I don't need someone telling me how to live."  
  
"So he bothers you. You're Akatsuki. He chose you over me. I hate him and you," the other boy growled.  
  
"Yeah, he mentioned that," Naruto replied tiredly, "Look I don't care about either of you at the moment. I'm pissed off with you both."  
  
"You don't deserve to be an Akatsuki. You're an orphan." Sasuke stood up and stared down at the blonde.  
  
"Shut up! I didn't ask for it, don't want it, and can't get rid of it. I don't get any choice in the matter because I can't get rid of your brother," Naruto growled, "And never mention the word orphan again or I'll kill you." The two boys glared at each other for sometime, but they'd said what needed to be said. They both felt easier after yelling, but they didn't really understand why.  
  
"They probably want the money from your adopted family," Sasuke stated sourly. Naruto scrunched his face in confusion. The dark haired boy scoffed. "The Akatsuki. They like money and power. I'm not some stupid fan-girl, I know you're rich. My brother doesn't tolerate poor charity cases anymore than Ebisu-sensei."  
  
"Pricks," the blonde grumbled.  
  
"My brother hates me."  
  
"How can you tell?" Naruto asked in genuine amazement, "He only speaks in monotone or undertone." Sasuke burst out laughing.  
  
"You're the only person stupid enough to insult my brother," Sasuke smirked.  
  
"You're stupid," Naruto pouted.  
  
"We need to get to class," Sasuke stated. They'd reached a truce, or at least stalemate. It was enough to function as a team together. They had something in common now: Itachi.  
  
"Oh joy."  
  
The two jumped from sculpture to sculpture to reach the bottom. Naruto begrudgingly admitted that Sasuke was good, but not the best. The blonde shrugged it off, he liked challenges anyway.  
  
"You didn't apologize for stealing my credit," Naruto casually stated while Sasuke grabbed his school bag from his room.  
  
"Does if look like I'm going to?" Sasuke blandly remarked back.  
  
"You're a jackass."  
  
"You're slow."  
  
"Glad we got that settled, bastard," the blonde smiled and Sasuke smirked in return. The two entered the classroom in silence. Sasuke's two fan-girls burst into gleeful shouts for their idol and threw glares at Naruto.  
  
"Shut up," was all the brooding Uchiha had to say and they quieted somewhat. Naruto had the feeling they only quieted down so that they could hear if Sasuke said anything else in his low and creepy voice. That creepy and annoying attitude had to be an Uchiha trait.  
  
"Aww, you hurt your fan-girls' feelings," the blonde grinned. Sasuke just glared to make Naruto stop grinning, which failed. Shikamaru threw a lazy wave at Naruto from his seat just behind the blonde. From the expression on the crafty Nara boy's face, there would be questions soon. Sakura failed to acknowledge the blonde and failed to get the brooder to talk. She groaned in the end and let her head fall into her arms as Sasuke ignored her. Ebisu-sensei leered and glared. Things were going relatively normal this morning.  
  
"Class 1-A, today you will start your full class schedule," Ebisu stated blandly. "I am your homeroom and Leaf Village History instructor. You'll notice only nine students are present in class today."  
  
Naruto looked around and true enough the class was mostly empty. Those present began mumbling to each other.  
  
"Quiet. You nine are the only teams from Class 1-A to pass your jounin instructors' tests." The disappointed expression on his face wasn't aimed at those still in the room. "Congratulations."  
  
"Yeah!" Kiba yelled as the small class burst into cheers.  
  
"Attention!" Ebisu shouted, it quieted the genin down, "As first years, you are required to take the following additional courses. They are: Basic Leaf Chakra Training, Basic Leaf Taijutsu Training, Basic Leaf Genjutsu and Ninjutsu, Level 1 Ninja Survival Training, Level 1 Contemporary World History, and Level 1 World Market and Economics. All Village courses are taken with your fellow village ninjas. Other courses are taken with other hidden village ninja classes." Naruto yawned and drowned out the rest of the man's speech, he'd learned it all in the primary or from Iruka anyway.  
  
Sakura poked him and he quickly focused back on his surroundings. Sakura was staring off to the side while the teacher was still droning about something. Naruto looked behind and found Shikamaru staring that way as well. The blonde followed their line of sight.  
  
Standing in the doorway was Itachi. The blonde looked back at the droning teacher and realized the leering prick was purposely ignoring the sixth-year. Itachi looked very annoyed. To be fair, the creepy stalker wasn't making any noise but Ebisu was a natural jackass anyway.  
  
Naruto turned and looked over Sakura to see Sasuke glaring. The younger Uchiha looked ready to gouge out those blood red eyes with his thumbs. It bothered Naruto and he couldn't explain way.  
  
"Naruto!" Ebisu called, drawing the blonde face ahead, "Pay attention!" The blonde growled and was ready to shout back a response, until Itachi spoke up.  
  
"That's correct," Itachi stated in his low eerie tone, "You shouldn't be distracted like that Naruto." The older boy walked into the classroom and stood before the blonde. Naruto sat in shock. He didn't understand what this guy was up to or whose side he was on.  
  
"Itachi-sama," Ebisu smiled, "What can I help you with?"  
  
"You should be trying to learn," the teen stated, completely ignoring the instructor, "even if the material is poorly conveyed." Behind Itachi, Naruto could see his instructor cracking at the insult.  
  
"Um… Okay," Naruto replied. The older boy nodded and then placed a small black velvet box on the table. The young genin stared at it in confusion. Itachi didn't offer any answer, so Naruto opened the box.  
  
Inside the small box was a gold ring with a blood red ruby. Itachi pulled it out and placed it on the boy's finger without ceremony.  
  
"This is the insignia of the Akatsuki. It does not come off."  
  
"What?!" Naruto shouted and started pulled at it. He growled, "Fucking seal…" A chuckle erupted from the towering sixth-year. It was a frightening noise that froze every genin's blood. He finished with a smirk and turned away.  
  
Naruto decided that Itachi was just plain confusing.  
  
"Akatsuki?" Ebisu stared at the blonde genin in shock.  
  
"Yes?" Itachi responded, but the dumbstruck teacher shook his head. The creepy teen nodded and left the room. Ebisu stood looking afterwards for a time, then turned back to face his class' curious stares.  
  
"The syllabus," Ebisu stated and turned around to write on the chalkboard.  
  
Naruto continued to pull at the ring, but it simply wouldn't come off. However, the blonde was supremely stubborn. Sakura finally had to smack the boy's head to stop him from fidgeting and he doubled over in pain. His head was still very tender.  
  
"Dismissed," the lecherous man ordered, an hour later, "You are all to report to room 132." Naruto stood with Shino's help as Class 1-A filed out of their homeroom. He vaguely felt the sensation of being herded. Other teams soon joined the three surviving Leaf teams of Class 1-A. Sakura led the group with the platinum blonde girl. Naruto knew the other fan-girl's name, but he couldn't recall it at the moment.  
  
Naruto moaned when Shino shifted the weight of the blonde on his shoulder. Sasuke trailed behind his teammate carelessly.  
  
"She hits too hard," Naruto stated depressingly. Sasuke shook his head and smirked. Shikamaru came up along Naruto's other side and smirked as well when he heard what the blonde had said.  
  
"Ebisu was strange today," Shino stated.  
  
"Ah, he doesn't bother anyone who has money or a name. So now he's got a problem. Naruto's an annoyance but an Akatsuki too," the lazy boy shrugged. Naruto scrunched his face in disgust as they enter room 132.  
  
Thirty odd students occupied the small lecture hall. A dark spiky-haired man stood smoking a cigarette at the front of the class, catching everyone's attention with the strong stench of tobacco. He seemed about to speak until Sasuke's platinum blonde fan-girl interrupted.  
  
"Asuma-sensei," the snobby preteen huffed, "what are you doing here?" He took a long drag from his cigarette and grinned at the genin.  
  
"Welcome first-years. I'm Sarutobi Asuma," he smiled, ignoring Ino, "Your instructor for Basic Leaf Chakra Training."  
  
Naruto sat bored out of his skull for the rest of the session. Class was dismissed and the nine 1-A Leaf ninjas trudged toward Training Ground No. 77. They stood at the gate to the fenced off training area, staring at the thick forest barely contained behind the tall chain-link fence.  
  
"How much you want to bet they're going to throw us in there and leave us to fend for ourselves for a week?" Shikamaru drawled out lazily at Naruto's side. The blonde nodded in agreement but eyed the forest in eager anticipation.  
  
Standing away from the Leaf ninjas were genin from other villages.  
  
"What is wrong with that guy's face?" Kiba scoffed at a red haired ninja. The small boy stared blankly at the dog-boy, he hadn't been paying much attention to the outside world. "It's so dumb looking." The dog snorted in the other genin's direction.  
  
Standing alone was a small boy with short vibrant red locks. On his back he carried a large sand gourd. A Sand insignia was tied to the leather strap that held the gourd. The Sand ninja focused his black ringed eyes and sent a deadly glare at the dog and boy. Naruto rolled his eyes and wondered if Kiba had a death wish. Then he remembered something.  
  
"That's right!" the blonde scrunched his face and turned to Kiba, "Hey, hey, what is with those red marks?" Kiba shrugged looked warily at the angry sand ninja.  
  
"Naruto, shut up," the dog-boy growled, having realized belatedly that he'd messed with the wrong ninja as his dog began to shiver up the ice blue stare.  
  
"Do they mean something?" Naruto stared up at the sky in thought, "Is it for concentration?" He turned back to Kiba. "The marks are too ugly to be fashionable."  
  
"How am I supposed to know? Ask that guy!" Kiba shouted and stumbled in panic as his dog began hiding in his coat. The blonde turned to the sand ninja.  
  
"Oh," he grinned, "So you painted the dumb triangles on the dog-boy's face. That's pretty mean, but funny. Is it permanent?" Naruto snickered.  
  
The redhead simply blinked blankly at the blonde. The Sand genin looked confused for a moment before ignoring the world again.  
  
"WHAT?! My tattoos are cool you loser!" Kiba yelled, finally realizing he was being mocked. He jumped up from the ground and charged the blonde. At the last moment Naruto sidestepped the attack and watched the boy and dog fall into the dirt, confusion written all over the blonde's face. Naruto didn't understand how anyone could think those triangles were cool.  
  
"Naruto does have a point," Shino stated in monotone, "Your marks are ridiculous looking." Kiba yelled a loud battle cry as a bell sounded.  
  
A gigantic sword whizzed past Naruto and lodged into the ground between Kiba's legs. The boy fell back in a panic. Ino and Sakura shrieked and jumped for Sasuke, who dodged. As most of the students stood ready for battle, Naruto yawned.  
  
"Zabuza-san, can't you be more original?" the blonde furrowed his brow and turned toward the Mist ninja, standing in a tree wrapped in his bandages instead of the proper jounin uniform.  
  
"My other techniques are deadly. Not everyone would survive to enjoy the masterpiece," Zabuza said. The Mist ninja suddenly appeared behind Naruto and smacked him on the head.  
  
"Ah! What was that for?" the blonde howled.  
  
"This is your fault."  
  
"What and how is this my fault?" Naruto asked, cradling his head. He couldn't follow what the Mist ninja was implying, but he was seriously annoyed with how many people were hitting his head. Was it some sick fetish for ninjas to smack people in the head repeatedly?  
  
"Haku used his privileges and now I'm stuck teaching a bunch of wet-nursed cry-baby genin." The group of genin leveled heavy glares at the Mist jounin. He ignored them.  
  
"Shall we begin class then?" another voice asked.  
  
Zabuza turned and glared at the interrupting ninja. The blonde followed the jounin's line of sight to find a ninja of the Sand leaning against the fence. A towel wrapped around the jounin's head, covering half of his ugly face.  
  
"Our third instructor isn't here," Zabuza replied dully.  
  
"He'll catch up," the Sand ninja stated, "I am Baki of the Hidden Sand Village." Zabuza walked over to retrieve his sword as Baki introduced himself.  
  
"I am Momochi Zabuza of the Hidden Mist Village," the devil said and eyed the young ninjas with a steady glare. "The third instructor hasn't arrived yet. You'll be lucky if he turns up at all."  
  
"You mean Kakashi-sensei isn't the only chronically late ninja?" Naruto asked jokingly.  
  
"Actually, it is Hatake Kakashi who will be your third instructor," Baki grimaced, "You three must his team. Congratulations on being the first."  
  
Naruto stared in awe, shocked that he'd guessed right. Sakura groaned. The blonde turned to the girl; she groaned an awful lot, and it was getting annoying.  
  
"No wonder he's so bad," she reasoned in a pout, "he's never been a team leader before." The blonde shut his mouth, knowing better than to argue with girls. The dark brooding Uchiha just rolled his eyes in disgust towards his pathetic team.  
  
"Well, since he failed the other eleven teams, I suppose that's true," Zabuza realized looking to the Sand jounin for agreement.  
  
"A failure team for a failure instructor," Kiba sneered. Team 7 all glared the smelly dog-boy.  
  
"Ah!" the blonde exclaimed, "Kakashi-sensei is really strong and could kick all your asses! He's just always late and a giant p-" Naruto never finished his statement as his head collided with the ground with the help of a not so friendly hand. Kakashi squatted next to the fallen boy. He patted the blonde head with his eye glued to the sultry pages of his orange book.  
  
"Silence is golden," Kakashi quoted with reverence, "but knowing when to shut up is priceless." There was a mumbled response which none of the gaping Leaf genin could understand. Kakashi allowed Naruto to raise his head enough to speak.  
  
"Ah! You're stalking me!" Naruto accused the man, who shrugged in response.  
  
"Or a simple coincidence of scheduling," the white-hair jounin replied blandly, his eye not leaving the page.  
  
"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura asked politely, "we already have you as our jounin instructor…"  
  
"Are you implying that I can't be multitalented?" Kakashi asked.  
  
"Stalking p-" Kakashi shoved Naruto's head back to the dirt.  
  
"Speaking of stalkers. You know, I received a very nasty call yesterday evening." The boy mumbled into the ground again until the jounin lifted his head.  
  
"I said, we don't need to know about your horny phone s-" Naruto's head smacked against the earth again. Sakura jumped and winced visibly at the dull thud.  
  
"You really are a bully Kakashi," Baki sighed, "Just take their points away like everyone else."  
  
"Yeah… I should be angry at his insinuation," Kakashi stated blandly, before he looked up at his fellow teachers and smiled, "but I can't help feeling proud of the fact that he almost got me with that one." The sandman rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"He's playing favorites with his team," Ino growled, "that's not fair."  
  
"No it isn't," the sandman drawled out, "What's your point? This isn't nursery school."  
  
"He's not playing favorites anyway," Naruto growled, pulling away from the man's loosened grip. He rubbed the soil from his face, "He's just THAT sick and twisted." Kakashi knocked him on the head and the blonde howled. The boy scrunched his face and glared with squinty eyes at his team leader.  
  
"You are!"  
  
"Yeah," the man shrugged with his eye in his book.  
  
"So why are you denying it?!" the boy yelled.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Then why did you hit me?!" the boy fumed.  
  
"Because I can," Kakashi's single eye peered down at the young boy with a sinister promise. "Tell your old teacher to never call me at 1am again."  
  
Naruto suddenly understood why his jounin instructor was so angry.  
  
"Umm… Iruka-sensei called you?" the boy asked wearily.  
  
"Yes," Kakashi stated blandly. Zabuza bubbled with corrupt, menacing glee. The students were thoroughly freaked out.  
  
"Well, I could ask him for you but then he'd probably just call you at 2am instead," Naruto looked up helplessly. "He's done it to me before."  
  
A single silver brow rose as if challenging, but the expression quickly passed with a dismissive shrug. The silver-haired ninja stood up and gave the first-years a bored look. Then his black eye returned to the pages of the orange book and he yanked his young student off the ground.  
  
Strong arms wrapped around Kakashi's shoulders from behind. The Leaf jounin ignored the possessive grip, still engrossed in his perverse book. Zabuza smirked as he pressed his bandaged cheek against Kakashi's mask and sighed.  
  
"Really Zabuza, not in front of the children," Kakashi said in a monotone. Naruto's eye grew wide with fear, his young mind racing to understand what his teachers were doing. He began clawing at Kakashi's hand, still holding him.  
  
"Oh, didn't you enjoy last night?" the Mist jounin pouted.  
  
"Not really," Kakashi replied as he causally flipped a page in his novel.  
  
"Well, it was only your first time," Zabuza state nonchalantly. Naruto paled and searched for any assistance. Sakura had fainted into Ino's arms. Kiba sat watching the two men, wide-eyed - with fascination or horror, Naruto couldn't tell. The four other Leaf ninjas stared in plain confusion, stone still and mouths gaping slightly. Kakashi's single eye turned to regard the deranged killer draped over his shoulders.  
  
"It will never happen again," he said, his tone carrying a deadly edge.  
  
"Oh, I have a feeling you won't being saying that tonight," said the mist ninja as he burst into laughter. Naruto screamed. The boy's arms flailed in hopes of escaping from the perverted instructors. Tearful eyes turned to Shikamaru for support.  
  
"Get a brain Naruto," the lazy boy sighed noisily and shook his own shock away, "They're probably talking about that phone call from your teacher." The others students began relaxing with the new understanding. Naruto sniffed and blinked, before he burst into uncontrollable laughter.  
  
The students and teachers stared in confusion. The students were not impressed by the strange Leaf ninja. They were beginning to feel the same way about their survival-training instructors.  
  
"Iruka-sensei will call again," Naruto snickered, "and again. You may want to buy an answering machine to screen your calls from now on." The boy burst into laughter again. Zabuza patted the glaring Leaf jounin on the back.  
  
"If you're quite finished now?" Baki growled. His grating voice brought the group back to the situation at hand.  
  
"I'm Hatake Kakashi of the Hidden Leaf Village," the Leaf jounin stated with a bored sigh. He pulled away from his reading and focused a lazy eye on the Sand jounin.  
  
"This is Basic Ninja Survival Training. You will be subjected to three common environments in Basic Ninja Survival Training: forests, swamps and deserts," Baki stated, "Three environments and three instructors. Today we'll have you all fill out paperwork and introduce yourselves." The students lined up to get their papers.  
  
Kakashi pushed Naruto past the group of students toward the padlocked gate. The jounin pocketed his orange book and pulled out a key. Naruto watched with confusion written in large bold letters on his forehead.  
  
"Where are you taking Naruto?" Zabuza asked, glaring at the other jounin's back.  
  
"Naruto has all his paperwork filled out already," Kakashi stated and opened the gate. Naruto grinned with excitement.  
  
"Aww, that loser gets everything," Kiba whined, "He doesn't deserve it." The blonde opened his mouth to retort but Shino spoke.  
  
"He prepared ahead of time," Shino stated, "that qualifies him to enter. Therefore he does in fact deserve it." Kiba growled in response.  
  
"Try not to get him too scratched up or you'll get another earful from Iruka," Zabuza called after the pair. The two quickly lost sight of the others as they traveled into the forest. Naruto leapt through the trees, barely keeping pace with his instructor. He knew that his teacher was being slow to accommodate him. It made the blonde wonder just how much this weird perverted man could do.  
  
Kakashi suddenly stopped on a particularly large branch. Naruto wasn't prepared for the sudden halt and slammed face-first into the moss-coated bark. He groaned into the wood.  
  
The jounin sighed and pulled the boy upright.  
  
"You'll mess your uniform if you're not careful," Kakashi stated blandly. The jounin didn't care about the uniform and somehow Naruto understood that. He stared up at his unorthodox instructor waiting for an explanation. It didn't come.  
  
"Hey, hey, are you going to tell me why you wanted me out here alone or not?" Naruto asked. He stood brushing the dirt from his uniform.  
  
"Two reasons," Kakashi stated, "First I want to know what is wrong with that old teacher of yours."  
  
"Iruka-sensei," the boy puzzled, "I guess he's having trouble letting me leave. He's really nice. He takes me out for ramen all the time."  
  
"Calling me a pervert and then denying he's being a hypocrite is nice?" the man stated blandly and leaned up against the massive tree trunk. The tree was huge and the large branch allowed for enough space to relax comfortably.  
  
"Hypocrite?" Naruto cocked his head to the side in question.  
  
"He accused me of being a lazy pervert for reading 'Come Come Paradise' all the time," Kakashi answered, "but knowing what the book's about means he's read them as well."  
  
"Huh? Iruka-sensei refuses to read the stuff. He doesn't mind other people reading, except in front of children," Naruto shrugged and scratched his head guiltily, "I sort of told him you read it a lot. Sorry."  
  
"Oh, no," Kakashi assured the boy, "It seems that the Mist Devil and his hell spawn explained my behavior to your old teacher in detail."  
  
"Hey! Haku-nii-san isn't hell spawn!" the blonde shouted. Kakashi's single white eyebrow rose in response.  
  
"He is the Devil's helper and enjoys all his work with sadistic pleasure. Doesn't he always hug you in public?" the jounin asked. Naruto pouted, "I'm sure he genuinely cares for you but don't tell me you haven't thought that he might make you into his personal dress-up doll given the opportunity."  
  
The genin winced at that. Certainly the thought had crossed his mind and Haku did have a twisted sense of humor, but he wouldn't call his best friend hell spawn. If anything, Naruto felt himself better suited for that title. However, Kakashi was right, Haku was disturbingly sadistic, but that didn't mean he'd admitted that to anyone.  
  
"Naruto, I also wanted to know what you think of the Akatsuki." The blonde growled in frustration.  
  
"That asshole Itachi shoved this ring on my finger this morning and I can't get it off. I don't like Itachi and if he's what Akatsuki is, I hate them!" the blonde fumed as his whiskered cheeks puffed.  
  
"I'm not one of them so I can't say what they are exactly," Kakashi answered with a sigh, "The Akatsuki are a brotherhood of the most lethal shinobi, many of them from the ruling-class."  
  
"Yeah, that's what everyone says. What do they do? What do they want with me?"  
  
"You know what they want," Kakashi stated in a low voice. The sudden influx of emotion in the normally dull voice made Naruto nervous. The jounin's eye traveled down to Naruto's stomach as the boy inhaled harshly. Kakashi's single eye focused sharply back on Naruto's pair of blue eyes.  
  
So you do know what's inside you. Who told you? That teacher?" Kakashi questioned, his tone edged with anger.  
  
"No," Naruto swallowed hard, "I don't want to talk about it. How do you know and who else knows?"  
  
"People who were there, the Leaf ninjas that survived, they know what you are. The other villages have heard rumors."  
  
"Itachi knows, he said so," Naruto felt the panic and pain rose in him. He felt bile rising up in his throat.  
  
"Yeah, he knows. He probably knows everything about you."  
  
"Ah! How do I get into these messes?!" Naruto punched the branch, denting it.  
  
"You can't walk away from them," the older ninja warned, letting the words roll from his mouth and cut through the air.  
  
"Who do those people think they are?!" Naruto shouted in frustration, "It's my life! I want to live the way I want. My ninja way!"  
  
"So are you going to fight them?" Kakashi asked, his brow rising, "You really don't want to be an Akatsuki?" Kakashi watched the boy boil and then simmer with confusion.  
  
"I don't know," Naruto pouted, "I don't know anything." Kakashi nodded in understanding. It was a difficult situation for the boy.  
  
"I'll say this: Be wary of Itachi."  
  
"Duh," Naruto rolled his eyes, "He's too fake for even me not to notice."  
  
"Yeah, well…" the jounin let the sentence hang, "Almost lunch, shall we?" Kakashi led the way out of the forest and they reached the cafeteria before the crowds. Kakashi walked off toward the sushi bar while Naruto headed straight to the ramen shop.  
  
"Ah, Blondie you're early. I don't even have your order ready yet," the ramen chef said with his jolly belly rumbling with laughter.  
  
"You know I have a name," Naruto pouted.  
  
"All right, so what is it Blondie?" the chef asked with mirth in his eyes.  
  
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," he beamed with delight and pride.  
  
"I'm Teuchi and the pretty lady you may see working here sometimes is Ayome." Naruto grinned happily and watched Teuchi prepare his five bowls. Once they were finished he happily went to his table.  
  
He found Haku waiting for him at their table - their new, larger table. The fourth-year was very quick.  
  
"You know Zabuza hates kids."  
  
"Yeah, he fails all his genin groups," Haku smiled angelically, "but as a school instructor he can't go away on long missions anymore." Naruto rolled his eyes; the brunette always had ulterior motives.  
  
"But you're subjecting innocent children to his rage, including me," the blonde whined.  
  
"They'll survive, and you're not that innocent," Haku smiled.  
  
"Naruto," Shikamaru greeted as Shino and he reached the table, "Haku-san, nice table."  
  
"Hi!" the teenager chirped, "And it's Haku-sempai." Shikamaru nodded, sweating a little at the smile on the fourth-year's face.  
  
"Naruto, you should have stayed behind with the class," Shino stated.  
  
"Yeah," the lazy genin snickered, "you missed that dog-boy shooting his mouth off at Chouji."  
  
"Ah, what happened?" Naruto asked, leaning out of his seat with anticipation.  
  
"Kiba called Chouji a fat-ass," Shikamaru grinned, "so Chouji flattened him into the ground, literally." Naruto gawked.  
  
"Ah… Akimichi Chouji? He used the meat-tank technique?" Haku inquired modestly. Shikamaru nodded.  
  
"How did you know?" Shino asked, interest filling his dull tone.  
  
"I read Zabuza-san's class roster," Haku shrugged.  
  
"But the technique?" Shikamaru inquired.  
  
"Oh, I faced an Akimichi during the sports festival my first year," Haku smiled. Naruto grinned, since he knew his friend had won from the calm smile on his face.  
  
They spent the lunch hour asking Haku about the general ninja courses. The Mist ninja was very helpful in explaining and giving the boys tips on dealing with some of Zabuza's quirks.  
  
When lunch ended, Shino led the way to their next class. It was in room 197. The class was filled with round metal tables, each with four chairs. In one corner sat the Sand genin from survival training.  
  
At the front of the class stood a young man with long white hair and large glasses. His forehead protector held the Hidden Sound Village insignia. His smile made the hair on Naruto's neck bristle.  
  
"Welcome, please seat yourselves as you wish."  
  
"Eh? What about teams?" Sakura asked.  
  
"No need, I am well aware of who you are Haruno Sakura, as well as everyone else in the classroom."  
  
"All of us?" Kiba asked in awe.  
  
"Yes," the young man nodded and pulled out a set of cards, "I have information on every ninja on these cards. I've got all of them categorized and cross categorized for easy reference, Inuzuka Kiba."  
  
The class awed. Naruto and Shino made their way to sit with the Sand genin. Shikamaru shrugged depressingly and followed after the blonde and frizz-head. The redheaded genin didn't make any acknowledgement of their existence.  
  
"I'm Yakushi Kabuto, the Contemporary World History instructor. Welcome," Kabuto announced, "four students per table please." The genin busied around grouping themselves.  
  
Sasuke sat with Hinata and two boys from the Cloud village, much to Ino and Sakura's disappointment. Kiba and Chouji were still angry with each other but both were forced to sit with the two fan-girls.  
  
"What a unique and unexpected arrangement," Kabuto stated and smiled in a way that unnerved Naruto. "Table 4's all-Leaf grouping is quite strange." The instructor stated, eyeing the table.  
  
"What's wrong with our table?" Ino asked, feeling insulted.  
  
"Well, is simple not going to be very productive," the white-haired man sighed and shook his head, "You and Haruno Sakura are rivals, so both of you will be vying for the leadership of the group. Inuzuka Kiba and Akimichi Chouji are still angry with each other from their brawl earlier, so they won't cooperate together. Two rivaling leaders and two uncooperative workers make a very unstable and dysfunctional group. Table 4 will make for an interesting year.  
  
"Let's begin with the syllabus," Kabuto smiled and turned around to write on the shiny whiteboard. Sakura groaned. The class pulled out scrolls and began copying.  
  
Naruto didn't like the class and it had very little to do with the fact that it was history.  
  
When Naruto finally reached his room at 1:30, he changed and joined Shikamaru at the Go board. They played a timed game, which Shikamaru won. Shino sat nearby reading a book with an insect on the cover. He seemed very interested in it.  
  
"Ah. 3:30," Shino announced. Shikamaru taught Naruto the proper etiquette for playing Go, then they bowed and parted.  
  
When Naruto reached room 130, he found his teammates waiting. Kakashi arrived an hour later.  
  
"Today we have our first mission assignment."  
  
"Yes!" excaimed the genin.  
  
Moments later, Naruto found himself mopping the fourth-year Leaf corridor with Shino. He could hear Kiba whining over the garbage from down the hall. The blonde growled at his team leader, reclining in a chair with his orange book.  
  
The tired blonde reached his room afterwards to find Itachi leaning on his door. The Leaf first-years stared out of their conveniently open doors at the sixth-year, especially Ino and Sakura. The teenager ignored them all. He stood straight when Naruto approached.  
  
"Stalker," Naruto stated blandly as Itachi followed the blonde into the room. He waited for the door to close before speaking.  
  
"Do the seals sound-proof the room?"  
  
"They're supposed to allow sound in, not out. Supposed to." Itachi nodded. "Can you take the ring off me now?"  
  
"You're the first reluctant Akatsuki."  
  
"I guess that's a no," Naruto sighed.  
  
"I've arranged for us to go to a tailor in Hinomi on Sunday. While we're in the city your clothes will be dry-cleaned. Afterwards, we may shop for more presentable outfits for you," Itachi stated blandly, while studying the photos on the tack board.  
  
"Okay," Naruto replied with annoyance. He changed into his pajamas and put his uniform in an empty box to be washed.  
  
"Have money to purchase clothes with you by then," Itachi stated. Naruto nodded. "You'll have to get those uniforms washed. I'll show you who to take your uniforms to and how to clean the rest of your clothes tomorrow night."  
  
"Eh? I know how to do my laundry," Naruto answered. Itachi gave him an impressed look - a raised brow.  
  
"Interesting…" Itachi replied and the blonde shrugged, "but the uniforms are best left to professional care." Naruto didn't understand what the teenager meant but agreed anyway.  
  
"Is this going to happen every night, these visits?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You wouldn't come to me willingly." The blonde groaned; he never got a straight answer.  
  
"I don't think I like you very much," Naruto said. Itachi smirked and pulled out a book from his coat.  
  
"I know. This is for tomorrow," he said, handing the book to Naruto. "Have chapters one and two read for tomorrow." The book was titled, Genjutsu and Ninjutsu: A Study of Basic Ninja Techniques.  
  
"Hey, hey, what's it for?"  
  
"Your Basic Leaf Genjutsu and Ninjutsu class tomorrow. You'll be tested on the first two chapters."  
  
"Test?" Naruto gawked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I'm giving it to you," Itachi replied, and the blonde's face twisted in confusion. "I'm your Ninjutsu instructor for LGN."  
  
"But you're a student."  
  
"I'm allowed to instruct B-level courses for experience and a minimal salary. When you're a sixth-year it will be expected of you to teach a Basic instructional course." Naruto paled. Itachi took off his coat and hung it in the closet. He walked over to the young genin's desk and sat down. The teen pulled out some papers and looked over them.  
  
"What are you doing?" Naruto asked.  
  
"Studying," Itachi replied, "Its one hour till lights out, don't waste it." Obediently, Naruto sat on his futon and began reading the assigned homework.  
  
Naruto spent the next two days taking notes and mopping. His conclusions by Sunday were: people here were just weird; Itachi was just plain confusing; the Hidden Village Ninja Academy was just no fun; and his guardian was to blame for everything. The blonde assumed life couldn't get worse. Then he remembered that Sunday was Itachi's self-imposed fieldtrip.  
  
The sleepy blonde woke to the loud holler of the infamous loud wacko, who had already become despised in the hearts of the first-years. Luckily for him, no one knew where the noises came from, or who made them.  
  
A quiet but firm knock sounded at his door. The blonde pulled himself out of bed and opened his door to find Itachi ready and waiting. The sluggish boy allowed the teen in and went to get ready in the bathroom.  
  
Naruto emerged fifteen minutes later wearing a plain white T-shirt and dark green cargo pants. He placed his forehead protector on and was ready to go. Itachi had placed two boxes in the room while Naruto was in the bathroom. One held his clean uniforms, which Itachi had begun hanging in his closet. The other was still sealed.  
  
The blonde ripped it open.  
  
"Ah. The coffeemaker."  
  
"You drink coffee?" Itachi asked.  
  
"No, it's to boil water for making instant ramen." He placed it over his mini-refrigerator. They matched.  
  
"Ready?" Itachi asked, throwing the dirty clothes in the box and placing the Akatsuki coat in a bag nicely. Naruto took the box and followed Itachi out.  
  
No matter how annoying or fake Itachi's intentions were, he was persistent and constant. He wasn't letting up, but then Naruto wasn't giving in entirely yet.  
  
"Do I have to wear the coat?" Naruto asked.  
  
"How else would you use a coat?" Itachi countered. The blonde noticed Shikamaru awake and playing Go with Shino. They waved, but resumed play at the sight of the sixth-year. Those two first-years seemed to understand not to interfere with the Akatsuki. Kiba didn't.  
  
"Hey! Today's Sunday but uniforms are still enforced," the dog-boy stated blocking the doorway. The guy was cocky. He was also in the way.  
  
"Kiba, go find a bone," Naruto said tiredly.  
  
"Nah. Teachers are playing favorites again, that's not fair," Kiba accused, "Well?" he dared. Itachi stared the boy down, his Sharingan eyes spinning, until Kiba's dog whimpered and hid.  
  
"If life were fair then it'd be boring," Itachi stated calmly. Naruto rolled his eyes and followed the sixth-year out. They went through the first floor and exited the Academy. Itachi led the way down the rotted path to finally meet a waiting taxi. The trek seemed so much faster than it had before.  
  
The taxi was clean, with the smell of fresh leather still on the seats. The driver was a young looking man with spiked hair and tape over his nose. He didn't wear a forehead protector, but Naruto still had the feeling the man was a ninja.  
  
The blonde stared out the window and watched the forest disappear and large farm hills roll by. The city of Hinomi was two hours away, which gave Naruto time to bother Itachi.  
  
"Can you help me with my World Marketing & Economics class?"  
  
"In what way?"  
  
"Well, Gatou-sensei is having us make businesses to sell products to other students."  
  
"What does your partner think?"  
  
"Shino doesn't know what to make. He thought we should analyze the student body, whatever that means."  
  
"What are you capable of making in massive quantities?"  
  
"Ah, I don't want to make stuff."  
  
"Gatou has a shipping business in the Wave country and he doesn't make anything," Itachi pointed out, "Maybe you should look at what the academy doesn't provide compared to what the cities do and then supply it." Naruto nodded and thought about it.  
  
Soon the farms disappeared and small villages and towns lined the road. The closer they got to Hinomi the larger the buildings became until they'd reached the city. The city of Hinomi was filled with towers of steel and red glass.  
  
Naruto didn't like the red glass; it made the city appear menacing. However, red glass-paneled buildings were the predominant style of architecture in the Fire country. Naruto had to admit that the brilliant red windows did create an interesting contrast with the sapphire sky.  
  
The blonde also liked that none of the buildings were square of rectangular. Every red wall curved and waved from their bases. The buildings were like flames blowing in the wind and dancing across the skyline.  
  
The streets were paved with red clay and the sidewalks were charcoal black. Planted in the wide black sidewalks were birch trees with white bark and full green leaves. Signposts were white on green and traffic lights were tall arching black forks over the lanes. People crowded the sidewalks and cars clogged the streets.  
  
The taxi stopped before a building with curved white stone and large red-tinted glass windows. Behind the windows stood regal mannequins dressed in golden kimono. Itachi escorted the young genin through the large glass doubles doors and into the store.  
  
Immediately clerks swarmed the two boys. Actually, they swarmed Itachi, and ignored Naruto. It reminded Naruto of why he disliked shopping with Iruka.  
  
"Can I have some breakfast?" Naruto asked the man he assumed was the manager, since the old man was elegantly dressed.  
  
"There is no eating in the store," the old man replied with a cold look.  
  
"Huh?" Naruto gawked.  
  
"Is something the matter Naruto?" Itachi asked.  
  
"They don't serve breakfast here," Naruto pouted.  
  
"It is a clothing store."  
  
"Yeah, but Iruka-sensei always ordered me food when we shopped before," Naruto grinned, "Gyoi Meiho orders these blueberry muffins that are so fluffy and some kind of donuts that melt in your mouth like cream." Naruto's mouth watered.  
  
"Perhaps we should go there."  
  
"Gyoi Meiho has only one store and that's in the Lightening country. Like the Fire country's Shibui."  
  
"Have you ever been to Shibui?" Itachi asked raising a single well-manicured eyebrow.  
  
"No, Iruka-sensei said that if we're in the Fire country already, it's a simple detour to the Lightening country. Gyoi Meiho is the best I guess," Naruto shrugged, "I just hate it when they take three hours for one outfit."  
  
"Well, welcome to Shibui," the old manager stated icily.  
  
Naruto shrugged and his stomach growled, "Can we eat first?"  
  
"Uchiha-sama, you really shouldn't put up with such help," the manager stated coolly.  
  
"He's Uzumaki Naruto. The newest Akatsuki."  
  
"Eh?" the clerks gasped.  
  
"We aren't shopping here, are we?" the blonde asked innocently.  
  
"You said they are the best in Fire country."  
  
"No I didn't," the boy corrected, "I said they only had one store. I bet Iruka-sensei knows somewhere else to go."  
  
Itachi shrugged. Naruto pulled out his cellular phone and marveled at how it worked again. He quickly punched the orange buttons and waited.  
  
"Umino Iruka," a calm voice answered.  
  
"Hi Iruka-sensei! It's me!" the blonde bubbled.  
  
"I know, why are you awake so early on a Sunday?"  
  
"I'm shopping in Hinomi. What's a good store to get stuff tailored and dry-cleaned?"  
  
"Ikou is best for both and you can shop there as well," Naruto nodded. Itachi looked uncaring.  
  
"Ah, what about breakfast?"  
  
"Hmmm…" Iruka paused, "The Asage no Sumai is my favorite place to eat in Hinomi, but Ikou will serve you breakfast. Just mention my name and the manager will take care of things for you."  
  
"Okay! I got to go," Naruto answered.  
  
"Call me again before you go back."  
  
"I will," the boy exclaimed and closed the phone.  
  
"So?" Itachi inquired.  
  
"Where's Ikou?" Naruto asked turning to the manager. The old man glared.  
  
"We'll ask the taxi driver," Itachi reasoned and stood. The blonde genin followed him out.  
  
The Ikou building was constructed of charcoal stone bricks and black grout. The windows were red, and held various fabrics on display. Four grand birch trees in full spring foliage stood before the building, lining the sidewalk.  
  
Standing before the wrought-iron doors, inlaid with glass, was a man in a black pinstriped suit. The mysterious man motioned for a bellboy to attend the taxi.  
  
"Ah, you must be Uzumaki Naruto. Umino-sama called saying to expect you," the clean-cut man stated and bowed, "I'm Ueda Hirohito, head manager of this branch of Ikou. This way please."  
  
The Suit led the two boys to a round platform, half encircled with mirrored full-length cabinets. The space was large, as big as any classroom at the academy. Four gray pinstripe-vested tailors and three assistants stood waiting, ready to attend to the young blonde.  
  
"Uzumaki-sama, if you'll stand on the platform so we may begin," the manager gestured, "Umino-sama has already requested breakfast and it will be arriving shortly from Asage no Sumai." The man turned to Itachi and gestured to a nearby chair.  
  
"Uzumaki-sama, are these the clothes to be dry-cleaned?" a smiling assistant asked, taking the box from the blonde.  
  
"Yeah," Naruto nodded. The assistant bowed and disappeared with the box. The manager approached the dark teen with another assistant.  
  
"There is a garment which requires proper fitting I believe?" the manager asked. Itachi handed them the bag and the assistant took it, bringing it over to the tailors. The assistant who had taken the box reappeared with a boy-size body form.  
  
The tailors buzzed around Naruto once he was standing on the platform. They called out heights and lengths to the waiting assistants. The assistants noted the measurements on computers and worked to modify the body form to the young blonde's sizes. Itachi watched quietly, the manager sitting next to him as a young girl served them tea.  
  
"Oh my," one of the tailors remarked, as he gently removed the dark cloak from its bag and examined it. The other tailors crowded around it and placed it carefully on the dress form.  
  
"What an excellent coat. May I ask what it means?" the manager asked with interest.  
  
"What makes you think it means anything?" Itachi responded, as he began grading a stack of papers from that week's class.  
  
"Such custom work is rarely duplicated," the manager commented, gesturing towards the teenager's identical raw silk coat, "and red clouds on black are not a common design either." Itachi turned to regard the man and nodded.  
  
They are the uniform of the Akatsuki," Itachi stated. The manager nodded.  
  
"I don't understand much about the ninja world, but judging by the uniform I'd say the Akatsuki have exceptional taste," the manager praised carefully. Itachi smirked at the comment.  
  
"Naruto will required additional formal and semi-formal apparel," Itachi stated, returning to business. The manager motioned to the tea-girl and she hurriedly informed one of the tailors.  
  
"Uzumaki-sama, do you like traditional formal wear or the more modern suit styles?" the tailor asked while measuring the boy's shoulders.  
  
"I don't mind wearing a kimono, but they're always heavy," Naruto answered, as his stomach growled loudly. "Ah, sorry." The blonde sweated.  
  
"The breakfast should be arriving soon, we apologize for the wait, Uzumaki-sama," the tea girl smiled.  
  
"Ah, don't worry. It's probably traffic," the blonde smiled, "What did you order anyway?"  
  
"Umino-sama requested strawberry crepes, blueberry muffins and plain glazed donuts," the manager replied.  
  
"Ah, I miss having real food for breakfast," Naruto grinned and Itachi scoffed.  
  
"A good ninja needs well-balanced meals to be strong."  
  
"Yeah sure," Naruto rolled his eyes, "like you enjoy eating that cardboard junk."  
  
"Uzumaki-sama, do you have a favorite color?"  
  
"Orange," Naruto beamed.  
  
"No," Itachi stated flatly. The blonde turned and glared, which would have had no effect whatsoever even if Itachi had bothered to look.  
  
"Ah, what do you think of a rich green-blue to compliment your eyes, Uzumaki-sama," a tailor commented and brought out a deep ocean green colored silk for viewing.  
  
"Red," Itachi requested. Three assistants came out with three different red-patterned fabrics. They waited in front of the teenager patiently.  
  
The Uchiha lifted his Sharingan eyes from the paperwork and scanned the fabrics. All the fabrics were silks. To the left was raw silk, shimmering vibrant red in the light, burgundy where the folds blocked the light. In the center was a true-red finely woven silk with a golden print of dragons in clouds and tigers jumping from mountains. To the right was a blood-red silk fabric, embossed with a flowering lotuses design.  
  
"The right."  
  
As the assistants disappeared in a flurry of cloth, three men entered with breakfast trays. Naruto grinned and hopped off the platform. He inspected all the dishes while Itachi stood patiently waiting for the blonde's go-ahead.  
  
"Ah! These are those donuts! Like the ones Iruka-sensei gets for me at Gyoi Meiho!" Naruto cheered pointing them out to Itachi. "I wish I could eat them more often."  
  
"Do you?" Itachi asked in a bored manner.  
  
The teen was impressed by the array of dishes. Naruto knew because Itachi had raised his eyebrows when the trays had entered. The small gesture spoke volumes. The hyper boy picked up the delicious crème donut and inhaled its beautiful scent. It was the next best thing to ramen.  
  
"Ah!" Naruto exclaimed, making those attending him jump. "Do you deliver?"  
  
"Naruto, you can't order donuts to the academy."  
  
"Why not?" Naruto smiled, "You said it yourself. Provide something the school doesn't offer." The boy's face stretched into a foxy grin. Itachi thought about it and nodded.  
  
"I did say that," the teen picked up one of the donuts. He smirked when he tasted it. "It might work."  
  
"So, do you deliver?"  
  
Naruto finished his breakfast and continued to talk and explain things to the company representative of Asage no Sumai while having himself fitted. The day ended with three new suits packed into the taxi with a dry-cleaned outfit and the fitted Akatsuki coat. Itachi held his graded tests and Naruto held a stack of information and unsigned contracts.  
  
"They don't have a name," Naruto stated, scrunching his face. "What did you think of the donuts?"  
  
"Creamy," Itachi stated, "Light as well."  
  
"They were fresh too. Kind of a crisp, fresh and warm taste," The blonde added, thinking about the heavenly donuts. "A creamy crisp taste."  
  
"Cream and Crisp," Itachi pointed out. Naruto grinned and nodded.  
  
"Straight to the point. Shino will like it. I brought him and Shikamaru some to try," the boy smiled. He'd never had anyone to buy for, since Iruka bought everything for him.  
  
The taxi drove the two ninja to the broken entrance. Kakashi was waiting with his little orange book. Naruto smacked himself when he belatedly realized he'd forgotten to call Iruka back. Iruka would not be happy.  
  
"Ah, you're back before lunch," the white-haired Jounin stated. He watched the bandage-nosed driver unload the boxes of clothing. "How much did you buy, Naruto?" He helped with the bags.  
  
"He did it," Naruto answered.  
  
"There's only three new outfits," Itachi stated. "The other two will be mailed when they're ready."  
  
Kakashi raised a brow at the strange behavior from the normally emotionless teen. It was a mystery. Naruto just affected people. The Leaf jounin wondered if he'd changed at all yet.  
  
"Do I have to wear the coat?" Naruto asked while the traveled the broken trail.  
  
"What else would you do with a coat?" Itachi replied. The blonde just rolled his eyes.  
  
For the rest of the month, Naruto wondered how washing dishes and emptying trashcans could possibly be related to ninja training. The blonde also received his orange tracksuit, which Itachi promptly destroyed - entirely by accident. Most importantly, the Cream & Crisp Donuts sold like crazy, and Naruto never wore his properly fitted Akatsuki coat.  
  
"Well done," the Hokage nodded from his seat behind a boring desk. Next to him Ebisu leered with false cheer at Team 7, who were presenting the newly polished trophy to the Hokage.  
  
"Ah. Can't we have some good missions?!" Naruto whined. Sasuke and Naruto held the massive three-meter tall memento, eagerly waiting to be relieved of the monstrosity.  
  
"Missions are not games boy. They are serious!" Ebisu sputtered and fumed.  
  
"Yeah and I was joking about how stupid ours have been," Naruto drawled.  
  
"Ah, well you've finished this one nicely," the old man stated and signaled two men. Two workers came forward and carried the trophy away. "Really now, your duties couldn't be that terrible."  
  
"The most interesting duty we've been assigned so far is when we had to track down Teuchi-ojii-san's pet chicken. A pet CHICKEN!" Naruto exploded, spraying the bandana-wearing freak with saliva. "D-rank missions are beneath our abilities."  
  
"Kakashi-sensei, get your subordinate under control!" Ebisu yelled, glaring at the blonde. The freakish dork had faithfully held onto his belief that Naruto was a pathetic charity case.  
  
Kakashi responded with a shrug. The Hokage studied the group and smoked his pipe thoughtfully.  
  
"Alright then," the old man agreed, "You may have a C-rank mission."  
  
"What?!" the bandana-man shrieked.  
  
"This one isn't much better than those D-rank missions," the Hokage sighed, "It's a simple request for a ninja escort. I'll send your team leader the full details by morning and you'll leave at 5:00pm tomorrow."  
  
Naruto cheered.  
  
"Kakashi-sensei, you will handle the arrangements with their classes," Ebisu growled, and the white-haired freak nodded, "then you're dismissed."  
  
Naruto beamed proudly as he walked back to the dorms with his team.  
  
"Good job Naruto-kun," Sakura congratulated with a pat on the back, "You got us a C-rank mission."  
  
"Ah I know," the blonde responded becoming giddy with excitement, "Anything's better than mopping."  
  
"Yeah," Sasuke agreed.  
  
They reached their rooms. Itachi stood waiting for Naruto. He straightened when he noticed the boy. The two Uchiha brothers glared at each other before the hyper blonde jumped and hugged the teenager. The older boy stood motionless until the blonde let go.  
  
""We got a C-rank mission!" he bounced and opened the door.  
  
"A C-ranked mission is certainly more befitting for a member of the Akatsuki," Itachi stated as the door closed behind them. Nothing more could be heard after they disappeared into what had become known as the Sealed Fortress.  
  
Gossip spread throughout the first floor of Leaf dormitory until it was finally suppressed, hours later, by the inevitability of lights out.


End file.
